Taking Back Our Power!

So I just recently signed on to work as a “Dear Abby” where I help to answer relationship questions for people by request.  It’s been quite busy these days with the holidays approaching because who doesn’t want love for the holidays.  Well, I really enjoy this job because I like helping people achieve their dreams of having a happy healthy relationship.  Although I’ll admit at times, it can feel like I’m answering the same questions over and over again.  And they’re mainly around women not having any control in their relationships.

Just the other day I was talking to one of my best girlfriends and she mentioned she had a new guy in her life.  She seemed fairly happy with him and that everything seemed to be going okay.  But then she mentioned he lives in another state and that she would go to see him often.  I thought to myself, “Uh Oh!”  I’m sure she noticed the hesitation in my voice so she re-assured me that it was fine because he’s been so busy with all of his work.  I was like….okay?  And you’re not busy with your work? 

I simply made a suggestion that she gets him to come down and see her at least periodically rather than this being so lopsided.  Well, my girlfriend has her pride and as women sometimes we don’t like receiving help when it comes to our love lives.  Still, I tried to push her into not going to see him quite so often but I know this will fall on deaf ears.

I am also a landlord (yes, I have many jobs!) and one of my tenants just got a new “friend” (in her own words).  Once in a while, I check in on her to make sure she’s okay, only to find her “friend” laid up on the couch chilling.  In my mind, I’m thinking isn’t there something he could be doing for you besides eating up all your food.  But I digress.  It’s really none of my business.  So I carry on watching her give her all to him and receiving nothing in return.  She even takes out the trash while he plays video games!!

I’m just so sad to see women give so much to men with little to nothing in return.  It continues to sadden me despite the many years I’ve been doing this thing.  I keep hoping one day women will take their power back and reclaim their rightful place on the throne.

It does make me more appreciative of my own sweetheart for the wonderful things he does for me.  When we first met, I cancelled on him several times before I said yes to him because I was so busy.  And guess what?  He re-arranged his own schedule just to be near me.  I don’t mention this to brag but to explain why it is so important that women carry themselves as Queens.  You see, men don’t value the things they don’t work hard for…which is why we have to keep them on their toes.  Besides, do you want to be the one to get down on one knee?  Case closed…

The more a woman gives her power over to a man, the more he takes it and runs.  It’s not their fault.  They like easy stuff.  The easier the better for them.  The relationship starts out really nice.  Boy meets girl.  Boy asks girl out on a date.  Date goes well and then boy asks her out the next day…”spontaneously”.  Girl says yes then boy asks girl to “come over” the next day….girl then goes and abandons all of her plans for fear of not getting another date…. girl starts complaining boy doesn’t take her out anymore….but boy is fine with this and doesn’t know what her problem is…girl hits breaking point…and breaks up with boy….boy still scratching his head because he thought everything was going well…..the end!

And the cycle continues….

That’s why we ladies need structure…a guidepost for dating….if you haven’t read the Rules, I suggest you pick up a copy today!

Let’s make 2017 the year of great relationships!

Have a safe and happy holiday season!

The Rise Of Chronic Health Related Illnesses

“An ounce of prevention is more than an ounce of cure”

It seems that over the past 10 years, chronic health related illnesses such as cancer, diabetes, heart disease, asthma, and even allergies have had a dramatically sharp increase in the number of people affected.  Almost every day, you hear of someone who has cancer or is diabetic when this was virtually unheard of when I was growing up.  I believe it’s because we’ve come away from the conscious society we once were to a society that embraces ignorant bliss when it comes to maintaining our health.

So what are the reasons for this increase in health related illnesses?  First, more and more, we are embracing a more sedentary lifestyle.  In other words, we are sitting more whereas years ago we were much more active.  The average person sits for at least 4-5 hours a day non-stop without taking the time to stretch their limbs for movement.  The average office worker may sit for more than 8 hours a day depending on their work schedule.  And what’s worse, when they do finally get up which results in much needed movement for their bodies, they go and get something to eat that doesn’t have an else of the recommended daily nutrients the FDA requires to maintain good health.

Let’s move on the second reason people are experiencing more health related illness.  Yes, you guessed it.  They’re not eating healthy.  There’s no way around it!  Eating McDonald’s for breakfast, lunch and dinner is not exactly the healthiest thing you can eat daily for your health.  There is a certain amount of protein, carbs and fats you need in your diet to help fight infection, bacteria and germs that lurks in our environment.  You can’t escape toxins in the atmosphere but your body has a great mechanism to fight it once it knows it is a foreigner.

Finally, people are in what I term “ignorant bliss”.  They either feel helpless or they, quite frankly, just don’t care.  Taking care of their bodies is not enough of a priority until it really is…  Let’s just be honest here.  Maintaining good health is not all that easy.  It means exercising at least 4-5 days a week.  It includes watching what you put in your mouth every day.  And it means prioritizing it among the thousand other responsibilities you have on your life.  Most people just give up and hope for the best until it’s too late to ignore anymore.

People, let’s try to be more proactive!  It doesn’t take a lot of effort in watching your daily diet.  Yes, you may have to plan and put some thought into what you eat but isn’t this worth it?  Isn’t it worth it to see your kids grow up?  Isn’t it worth it to avoid constant doctor visits?  I can only bet that the people lying in hospital beds right now due to health related illnesses would love to have the choices you have now.  As the old saying goes, “an ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure.”  Very true….

Thanks for reading!

Please contact me at info@liveloveaspire.com for more information on my health related coaching services.

Living On Purpose

“Are we living according to the purpose in which we were designed?”

Every now and then I stop and ask myself if what I’m doing is really helping to fulfill my purpose.  So many times I see people go to work for a company they hate, do a job they hate and then go home and complain to their family and friends about the choices they’ve created for themselves.  Eventually, they become stressed out and this starts to show physically in their bodies as well.  I can’t help but to think this is not why we were put here on earth.  You have a divine purpose for being here and being miserable is not one of them!

Well, let’s start with what is your divine purpose.  Some also call this your “calling”.  The thing in which you were called to do.  It is the thing that gets you up in the morning.  It is the thing you get passionate about whenever someone asks you about it.  You light up.  You smile whenever you are doing it.  It’s different for everyone but the level of passion is the same.  I can’t tell you what your purpose is but can tell you that there is a glow that radiates about you whenever you are living it.

Let’s dive a bit deeper!  Usually, I find that a person’s real purpose in life is something they’re already doing.  For example, I believe my divine purpose is to coach or teach people.  I was already doing this with my co-workers while working my previous 9 to 5 corporate job.  Whenever a co-worker had a problem, I was usually one of the first people they would turn to for help and resolution.  I would talk to them as long as possible.  And in turn, I was always the one to seek out a guru or elder to help me with difficult situations in my life.  I found I enjoyed this experience, imparting wisdom from one person to another.  It intrigued me and made me want to pay it forward and help others too.

If you’re still having difficulty finding your purpose.  Think about what you would do even if you did not get paid to do it.  This is usually the first clue to guide you towards your calling.  For example, if you like to talk a lot, you may be great at teaching, coaching, consulting and anything that involves distributing a message to people.  If you’re good with your hands, you may be great at massage therapy or healing arts.  If you love mechanics, you may like dealing with cars or engines.  As you can see, I can go on and on but I think you get the picture.

Take some time to reflect on what you love doing in your spare time.  Continue to ask yourself “what gets you up in the morning or keeps you up at night?”  That may give you a clue.  Sometimes it takes a person years and years to find their purpose but when you do your whole life changes in an instant.

Good luck in your search!

Thanks for reading!

Please contact me at info@liveloveaspire.com for more information on my life/health/wellness related coaching services.

Why Singles Desperately Need To Hang Around Happy Couples

Can blissfully happy couples rub off of you?....let’s see…

If you’ve ever watched happy couples, then you’ll know how infectious it is to be seen.  There is just this blissful joy and belonging that the couple shares that makes us all stop and stare at them.  I believe it’s their love and happiness that we all wish we could have in our lives.  And since my job causes me to be a woman of many hats including professional coach and trainer, I have the luxury of being around lots of people including these blissfully happy couples, and I can tell you that just by virtue of being around them, you feel like you can achieve the same dream of being in this blissful state of happiness.

I laugh when I think of this but I believe everyone needs a “role model couple” to look up to for their own relationship.  This isn’t necessarily about comparisons but it is about being able to determine what constitutes a good relationship and what does not constitute one.  There’s something different about couples that are on the right track or walking together that makes them stand out from the rest and consequently keeps them together forever and ever.  They have a wealth of knowledge from years of experience that other couples and singles just don’t have or have gained in their lives.

For instance, there’s a way these couples interact with each other.  They don’t just text each other – they actually call each other to make sure the other one is okay.  How do you settle disputes?  They allow the other person to voice their opinion and are mindful not to disrespect each other.  It’s the way they hold hands whenever possible to show a quiet type of affection towards each other.  When there are kids involved, they respect each other’s authority and not allow the kids to undermine them.  There is a general sense of trust towards each other and they respect each other’s boundaries accordingly.  These are all great things for singles to learn in trying to find their own respective mates.

In other words, as a single person, you need to know what “good” looks like in a relationship.  When you’re surrounded by other singles, you don’t necessarily learn that except through trial and error.  If you take the time to surround yourself with strong happy couples, then their countless displays of love and affection towards each other will eventually rub off on you.  More often than not, singles only surround themselves with other singles and regurgitate the same information and sometimes keeping them single rather than hearing from happy couples of how they’ve been able to stay together.

But you may say, I don’t know any happy couples!  I’m sure there are a few in your family, your neighborhood, at work, school…etc…etc…that you can observe and watch to learn what constitutes a great relationship.  And by the way, it’s not about imitating their relationship but creating your own great relationship by finding someone who is at least respectful and loving towards you as your foundation.

These happy couples are never really highlighted in our society because most of them live under the spotlight and rightfully so!  They don’t necessarily want or need the spotlight – just a happy home is their dream.  But we as singles can certainly learn a thing or two from them as we create our own little happy homes.  And who knows, maybe someday we can pay it forward by helping another young couple by being great role models to them as well!

Good luck!

Thanks for reading!

Please connect with us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/liveloveaspiredatecoach

Please contact us at info@liveloveaspire.com for more information on our services and for a free 15 minute consultation.

Will Having Bigger Breasts Increase My Chances With Men

Thinking about going under the knife…read this first!

I would venture to say that most of us as women have pondered this question a time or two in our lives, even if just for a second.  You may not like the idea of plastic surgery but having bigger breasts to attract the opposite sex may force you to give it more consideration.  What is it about bigger breasts that make women envious of other women and men turn their heads to gaze at her?  As much as we hate the idea of changing ourselves physically, there is certainly an allure with being able to walk in a crowded room and become the center of attention.

You see, I live and dwell in an industry where the right look could get you a date quickly.  So I can’t say that having bigger breasts doesn’t have some type of influence in a woman’s life.  In fact, I do plenty of shows and competitions where I know for certain that a woman who has bigger breasts will almost always get a slight edge over her peers.  As women, we all know this is secretly true.  We just hope and pray that it isn’t everything when it comes to evaluating the quality of a woman.

Big breasted women are associated with fertility and that makes them very attractive to the opposite sex.  Having firm, upward tilting breasts resembles that of a younger woman vs an older woman who may have sagging, tubular type breasts because of her age.  Think about the classic movie stars such as a young Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, and Lana Turner who graced the movie screen tempting the world with their allure.  t’s interesting too because if you ask any Alpha male why he likes big breasts so much, I’m almost sure he wouldn’t be able to tell you.  You see, he doesn’t know why he likes them…he just knows that he does….

Of course there are drawbacks as with any good thing, right?  Many women with large breasts complain of the pain they feel based on the heaviness of their breasts on their backs.  They also complain their clothes may not fit so well since they are so top heavy as compared to the rest of their bodies.  They end up having to get plastic surgery to have them reduced in size to eliminate such challenges.  Also, when women get breast implants, there is always a chance of leakage from the implant that may cause infection to the rest of her body.  The verdict is still out on how safe these are relative to the risk factor that these may actually be doing the body more harm than good.

But let’s get back to the question of does having bigger breasts enhance our attractiveness?  Well, the answer is both yes and no.  The ideal body shape is that of an hourglass figure so enhancing one’s breast size particularly when your cup size is an A or B may actually help you to achieve the ideal body while also helping you to fit your clothes properly.  This in turn, helps you to have a more pleasing body silhouette creating more of an allure to the opposite sex. 

But there is such a thing as “too much of a good thing”.  Enhancing your breasts a cup size of two is one thing…going up to a double D is quite another.  First, this may be totally unrealistic for your body size and secondly, you may actually get some unwanted attention because of it.  Find the right balance to proportion your body well with regards to bigger breasts is the key.

Now for those of you small chested women who would love to enhance your breasts without plastic surgery, I have good news for you!  You can always pad your bra!  I know you knew that already but there are so many new and improved ways to enhance your chest without having to go under the knife.  You can also proportion your body with clothes to give you the look and feel of someone with bigger breasts as well.  And don’t forget about exercise.  Yes, exercise can actually help your breasts become more firm.  Breast tissue is made up of fat.  So what happens when you exercise?  That’s right…you burn fat!  Those are just a few examples.  You see, you don’t have to have plastic surgery nor be ashamed of your chest to look great and still be able to capture the attention of men. 

In short, women will always desire having bigger breasts, particularly when they see the attention they have on men and in society.  But we as women don’t all have to have the same chest size to attract the opposite sex.  There have been lots of women who have had boy-ish type figures and men loved them too!  So before you decide to go under the knife, think about other alternatives to enhancing your chest size.  And just remember “beauty will almost always attract men, but appearances can only go so far, it is not the hook.

Thanks for reading!

Please connect with us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/liveloveaspiredatecoach

Please contact us at info@liveloveaspire.com for more information on our services and for a free 15 minute consultation.

Why Being Average Can Cost You!

You give yourself kudos for going out on one date….and when the date doesn’t work out….you’re done with dating for life!

I’ll admit this article does not contain any gimmicky titles, complicated jargon or imaginative stories-just a little inspiration to help you get through the rest of the year.  Sometimes all you really need is a little push in the right direction to get back to this journey we call life.  The challenges in life come at us with full speed so we all could use a cheerleader in our corner to let us know everything we pray for and dream about is going to show up in our lives.

If most of us are really honest with ourselves, we write down our goals at the start of the year, get really pumped about what we are going to do to accomplish our goals and somewhere between March and June, we somehow find other things that take priority over what we said we wanted at the beginning of the year.  For example, do you really want a husband or wife?  Do you really want a promotion at your job or the clients you say you want?  Is your health really that important to you?  I could go on and on but I’m sure you get the point.  We write our goals down with fervor and passion and then abandon them as soon as the going gets rough and we figure out how hard it is to achieve what we originally set out to do.

Okay, so maybe you did go out on one date.  You remember the one back in February and as soon as it didn’t work out, you were done with dating!  “See, all men (or women) are like that!”  If that’s the case, then you may want to take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, if it’s really “them” or “me” attracting those qualities out of “them” on to “me”.  I know that sounds harsh but I just want to give you a wake-up call because if no one else pushes and irritates you, you’ll be in this same spot-same time next year!  I care about you and want you to have those things you desire whether it be marriage, long term partnership, happy life, etc.

But let me get to my real point.  Most of us go out on one date and we’re done.  We post our online dating profile and it collects dust.  We update our wardrobe one time per year and we’re done.  We smile at the opposite sex one time and we’re done.  We go to one event to look for desirable mates and we’re done.  In other words, we don’t put the work in to get the results we really want in life.  Life doesn’t reward “average” people.  Life rewards people that are loyal to their goals, committed to the task of achieving the goal and won’t take “no” (or closed doors) for an answer.

And by the way, being average or living a mediocre existence can actually cost you more in the long run.  For example, just think about the money you spend online or the time it takes just to prepare for a date and then multiply that by the number of years it’s going to take for you to find someone close to what you’re looking for when you’re only putting in the minimum amount of effort.  It’s like a bill that incurs interest!  It all adds up!

You see, we don’t put half as much work in towards our goals and wonder why it feels like we’re not going anywhere.  Successful people know that it takes more than wishful thinking to get whatever it is you want out of life.  For example, happily married couples don’t have it as easy as many would think.  They work hard to maintain a happy household and happy spouses who make up the foundation of their family structure.  As my parents would say, “you have to go above and beyond” to even come close to the things you want and desire.

So yeah…you may have to go out on more dates….go to more speed dating events…continuously update your online dating profile…read more self-help books…constantly update your wardrobe to ensure you are projecting the right image…go the gym often…etc…etc.  But this is what it takes to go where you want to go.  As the old saying goes, “no pain-no gain”.

Listen, I care about all of you.  I have already seen many of my clients date and get married because I had to push them out of their comfort zones.  And they all say, I didn’t like being pushed that hard but I needed that tough love and I’m glad you were there to provide it.  So if you don’t get nothing else from this article, just know that your dreams and goals are entirely achievable if you only put the work in to achieve them.  Stay committed to the end and believe in yourself!  Talk to others who are where you want to be.  And then enjoy the success you will have!

Good luck!

Thanks for reading!

Please connect with us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/liveloveaspiredatecoach

Please contact us at info@liveloveaspire.com for more information on our services and for a free 15 minute consultation.

What I’ve Learned as an Entrepreneur That Could Help You in Dating

Find out why dating and entrepreneurship go hand and hand!

Over the years in business, I’ve had to endure a lot of challenges to get to the point where I’m at today.  From missed opportunities to a lack of awareness of my own gifts and talents, I’ve had to take inventory of myself and my progress towards meeting my goals.  But through this journey, I’ve learned a lot about business that I believe can easily be applied to the dating world as well.  It may seem like dating and entrepreneurship have nothing in common but you would be surprised at how much they often do run parallel to each other.

Below are 5 things I’ve learned that I hope can help you in dating:

Know Your Worth! – As an entrepreneur, it is a must that I know my value.  In other words, what is it that I bring to the table?  It’s the same in dating.  What do you bring to the table?  Do you have your own place to stay?  Do you have your own car?  Are you a college graduate?  These could be your most prized accomplishments.  And not just material gains, your accomplishments could also be that you’re a spiritually self-aware person making a difference in the world.  When you partner with someone else, you create synergy between the things you bring to the table and what they’re able to bring to the table as well.  I meet a lot of women who have so much going for themselves, dating a guy who hasn’t even got started as of yet!  Why settle for less than you’re worth?

Rejection is NOT an option! – In fact, it’s guaranteed!  Every successful entrepreneur knows that rejection comes with the territory.  This is the one thing that stops many people from becoming entrepreneurs too!  And the same goes for dating.  Once a person gets rejected by someone they really like, the show is over.  They’re ready to take a break!  If I had a nickel for every rejection I’ve ever had, I would be rich!  Listen, rejection is a part of life.  Some people may not like you because your hair is red and you like the color blue!  That should not stop you from pursuing your goal!  Every rejection gets you closer to your desires.  Rome wasn’t built in one night so please don’t give up the towel until you find someone who likes what you have to offer!

Every Lead Is NOT a guaranteed sale! – I get a LOT of leads or potential clients per day.  But leads don’t always translate to sales.  Sales doesn’t happen until contracts are signed and money has exchanged parties.  This theory should apply in dating too!  I see a lot of people place all of their eggs in one basket or one person, hoping and praying the relationship will lead to marriage, and when it doesn’t become devastated.  Listen, I’m all for concentrating on one person to see if the relationship works but just be aware that a “lead” or a date doesn’t always guarantee a “sale” or marriage.  You may want to think about your options.

Find the source of your leads! – One of the things I’ve had to learn in gaining clients is what resources I’m using to attract them to me.  For instance, some entrepreneurs are great at attracting clients at networking events while others are great at attracting clients doing online marketing activities.  So if you’re looking to find someone, ask yourself where do you spend the majority of your time?  This could be the place in which you may need to focus to find that special someone.  In your past, where were you able to attract your long term partners?  For example, if you do more things online than you do offline, than online dating may be the best place for you to find him or her.  Maybe you spend most of your time at work.  Why not try to do more activities after work that may help you get to know the people in your surroundings in order to attract a mate there.  Either way, you need to find out where your odds are greater at finding a mate. 

Stay in your lane! – So many of us are trying to do jobs and activities that are totally outside of our gifts and talents.  Some of the top entrepreneurs will tell you that you need to focus on what you do best in order to become successful.  The same thing can apply to dating.  What are your true gifts and talents in relationships?  Are you more of a nurturer?  Do you play a great supporting role?  Maybe you’re a great cook, best repair man in the house or you know how to keep the money flowing to keep the family stable.  Whatever the case, find the thing that you do best and build on it.  It’s not necessary to “market” it to potential suitors but you can make them aware of your gifts and talents so they’ll be more intrigued with you.  This could be the one thing that helps you attract a plethora of quality mates and suitors into your life. 

In short, as you can see, there are many similarities between dating and entrepreneurship.  I often apply many of these principles to other parts of my life as well.  From knowing your worth as a person and what gifts and talents you bring to the table to recognizing and understanding that rejection gets you closer to the people who will like and accept what you have to offer.  From knowing where to find the right suitor and then understanding that just because you score a date does not guarantee marriage.  Hopefully, I’ve mentioned a few points that you can apply to your own dating life to make the dating journey that much easier.   

Thanks for reading!

Please connect with us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/liveloveaspiredatecoach

Please contact us at info@liveloveaspire.com for more information on our services and for a free 15 minute consultation.