Can Astrology, Numerology or Mysticism Help You Find Love?

Many techniques claim to help people find love…but can they?  Let’s see!

I’ve been naturally very intuitive all of my life.  Even when I didn’t know how to use my abilities, I could still see and sense things happening before they actually occurred.  I usually have an eerie sensation or very clear dreams right before an event happens.  I can’t tell you the number of things I’ve sensed or felt in my body before they happened.  Even in relationships, I can intuitively sense if a relationship will work out long term by the end of the 1^st date, even when the guy hasn’t done anything wrong to warrant such suspicion.  I used to deny my abilities but as I’ve grown and matured, I’ve accepted them as gifts that can be used to help guide me in my life.

Along with my intuitive skills and abilities, I enjoy using techniques such as astrology and numerology to make interpretations or predictions as well.  They help me to clarify what my intuition is telling me so that I can articulate it to others in order to help them.  I’ve recently met and interacted with lots of people who would like to learn more about Mysticism and the Esoteric Sciences to help guide them in their quest to find love so I’ve decided to list the most popular methods below.

1.       Astrology – The study of the relationship between the stars and planets in the universe at a person’s birth date and how they influence a person’s life.  When most people think of Astrology, they think of the 12 signs of the Zodiac.  However, there is much more to Astrology than just knowing your Sun sign.  If you hire a professional Astrologer, the person should be able to provide you with a natal chart interpretation which helps you to understand why you may exhibit certain behaviors in your relationships or act a certain way in different environments.  They should be able to uncover your deepest needs and desires in love as opposed to what you think they are for long term compatibility.  You can also learn about the best times for marriage or when someone significant may enter your life.

2.       Using Psychics – According to Wikipedia, these are people who have abilities to perceive information which is hidden from the normal senses through extrasensory perception.  Most people are turned off from psychics because of what they’ve seen and heard on television from people who claim to be psychics having real powers when they’re really being opportunistic taking advantage of people who have sought their help.  However, I believe a good psychic should be able to help you with a greater understanding of what’s happening in your love life at this time and be able to answer any burning questions you may have with it.  They should also be realistic and not tell you what you want to hear but need to hear in order to make any types of adjustments in your life.  You should be able to walk away from the session with a sense of relief in your own awareness and perhaps even a sense of hope.

3.       Numerology – The study of the relationship between your birth numbers and how they can affect a person’s behavior and expression life.  It’s one of the easiest methods to learn but there’s so much more to understanding  what those numbers mean as it applies to you.  If you hire a numerologist, the person should be able to provide you with a blueprint of your strengths, challenges, and even the life cycles you may be in according to their methodology for interpretation.  Many people prefer this technique over Astrology and many others use both in their readings.

4.       Dream Interpretation Analysis – This is a method of tapping into your unconscious self as you sleep at night.  Have you ever had a dream which felt so real that you woke up and did not know it was a dream?  In dream interpretation, symbols and imagery as they appear to you in your dreams are decoded to help you understand it and decipher its clues to helping you in your current life.  For example, you may be able to identify any opportunities that you may be consciously unaware of and any hidden dangers that you may have missed.  Dreams can really tell you a lot about yourself if you can just begin to pay attention to the message.

In summary, I believe all of the above techniques and services listed are great ways for becoming more aware of your own character and how you relate to others in relationships.  Some techniques can provide you with more specific information such as Astrology and Numerology.  While other services such as using a Psychic or using Dream Interpretations may give you a high level view of yourself and any situations you face at this particular time.

So can mysticism and the esoteric sciences help you find love?  Well, there are certainly no guarantees to finding love.  You create your own destiny by your thoughts, deeds and actions.  These techniques can only help guide you in the right direction by presenting you with a wealth of knowledge and information in order for you to make better decisions.  I also believe in having a strong faith in God, believing in yourself, and practicing a little patience as keys for success in your journey.

Good Luck!

Breaking Up: Excuses You Tell Yourself To Avoid The Inevitable

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do…But Does It Have To Be?

You’ve put so much time and energy into the relationship and really do want to see your partner do well in life.  But you know in your heart this relationship isn’t working for you anymore.  You don’t want to seem cold and heartless because you care so much about this person.   You love the person as a friend but not someone in which you wish to be in an intimate relationship.

You know it’s the end but you stay in there anyway.  You’re long past talking, couples therapy or any remedial techniques that couples go through in order to salvage their relationship.  Your heart is telling you to let it go.  Maybe tomorrow you tell yourself avoiding the inevitable.  Maybe the person will change and I won’t have to go through with the break up.  But it never happens.  You’ve been here before..time and time again.  You’re tired, miserable and your health is fading fast. 

So why do we stay in relationships when we know they aren’t in our best interests any longer?  I’ve listed several excuses below that we tell ourselves to avoid the inevitable.  The truth is that it takes two people to complete a relationship and when one person isn’t happy, there’s really no relationship because eventually the unhappy person will go elsewhere.  Sure, you can “hang in there” and see if things get any better but if you’re honest with yourself, you’ve probably already tried and it hasn’t worked. 

Let’s see how many excuses we can check off our list below of why we like to avoid a break up.

1.       My Partner Says They Need Me – Maybe they do need you but that would mean they are dependent on you to make them happy.  They have to find the strength to create their own path in life.  You can’t live their life for them!  They are here to learn their own lessons no matter how much pain it causes for them.  The best thing you can do for your partner is to be supportive of them and help them to get back in the game of life and conquer whatever obstacles come their way.  And you don’t have to be in a relationship with this person but support them as a friend and let them know you are still there for them.

2.       It’s The Economy Stupid! – If you’re staying in there for the economy, you’re going to be unhappy for a very long time.  We don’t know when the economy is going to get back to where it was before the recession so you may want to make alternate plans.  Financial worries are very real if you’ve been living with someone for a very long period of time and have become accustomed to that person’s income for your lifestyle.  But so is your health and happiness.  You’ll have to ask yourself how long you can stay with this person if the economy does not turn around soon.

3.       I Don’t Want To Feel Like A Failure – You’re not a failure if you’ve at least made an attempt at success.  Those that failed are the ones who’ve never tried.  What will my family and friends think if I tell them my relationship didn’t work out?  They’ll sympathize with you and know it was in your best interests.  And who cares what they think?  You are the one that has to interact with this person on a daily basis.  If the relationship is bringing you down, you would be the one to have deal with this-not them.

4.       I’m Staying For The Kids – Well, I’m a big proponent of staying in the relationship for kids, but not if the relationship is making you miserable.  I think the kids sense this and wonder why you’re staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy.  They see this as a child growing up and emulate this scenario in their own homes.  The best thing you can do for the kids is to end the relationship and at least, they will see you as an empowered individual.

5.       No one Else Will Want Me –And what if someone else does want you?  They’re not going to get the opportunity to even meet you while you’re still with your partner.  You haven’t given them the chance simply because you have not chosen to leave your “nest”.

6.       I Don’t Want To Be Alone – And this one is the killer!  If I had to pick one excuse that keeps people in relationships for years and years, it would be this one.  Listen, I’m not going to tell you that you won’t be alone, but being alone sometimes is for the best.  Sometimes, we get so caught up in serving our partner’s needs that we forget about our own.  We lose ourselves and become dumbfounded as to how it happened.  This could be the best thing that has ever happened to you because you’ll have taken your power back and allowed yourself the freedom to move on to the next journey.

Relationships are here to help us grow and evolve as better people.  When a relationship becomes stagnant or we’re no longer getting our needs met, then it’s essentially over.   Either we find the strength to end it ourselves or life will end it for us through unfortunate situations.  It’s always better when we can become empowered to make better decisions for our lives rather than let life take over for us.   Breaking up will always be hard to do but if we focus on who we are and what we want out of life, I think we’ll find the motivation we need to do what’s best.

Are All Girl Clubs Keeping Women Single?

Sisterhood vs Singlehood…does having sisterhood among women come at a cost?

I’ve always been a girly girl as I love the color pink, wear mainly dresses and skirts, and would not be caught dead without my earrings.   Even when I was in college, I remember waiting in anticipation to see if my favorite sorority would accept me into their organization.  My roommate and I were so happy when we were accepted and began to purchase all of the latest paraphernalia including t-shirts, socks, hats, jackets, and underwear…yes underwear!  My college sweetheart at the time was also in a fraternity so I was head over heels excited to be a part this culture and walk in the footsteps of the many women who came before me in this great organization.  It was a dream come true for me.

However, as I’ve grown older, I’ve started to question the very ideals I held as a child and a young adult.  For example, my job allows me to travel all over the world where I get to meet people from all walks of life.  It’s really opened my eyes to the differences between the Western and Eastern cultures when it comes to dating and relationships.  For example, I’ve noticed in some of the cultures that their dating styles are quite different.  They couldn’t imagine having a “ladies night” without men.  When I mention this concept to them, they are dumbfounded and questioned the very foundation that I’ve come to understand here in America.  It really made me take a second look at how we as Americans have created these types of female activities and clubs and how it may be keeping us as women perpetually single.

Let’s take a look at the other side of the coin-men.  Men do enjoy bonding with other men in activities such as sports and perhaps even music.  But unless it’s to watch a game or play in a music band, they very rarely hang out the way women do in bars, clubs or other social activities.  Sure, I’ll make the exception of a young male who, in his twenties, will occasionally hang out with the “fellas” to go pick up women in a bar or club, but as he grows up and matures, he tends to go solo.  Yet, women on the other hand do quite the opposite, which is, unless they’re married, continue to hang out in all girl clubs, even when they would prefer to go out with their single male friends. 

I’ve also heard from many men that it is intimidating talking to a woman and asking her out on a date when she is within a group.  They say it’s much easier when she is by herself or out with 2 or 3 of her closest girlfriends.  Just think about it.  Men know they take the risk of being rejected by the girl they wanted to ask out, but when his chosen woman is within a group, he risks rejection by not just her but all of the people in that group. 

So what is the rationale behind the “all girl clubs”?  Well, I believe one of the reasons is because of our history in this country.  Our history dates back to the feminist or women’s movement where women were tired of being treated unfairly regarding family and work life creating a movement that would force the country to look at women differently in terms of being a valuable force in the economic interests of the country.  This was a great thing for women and even better for the country.  I believe this was the greatest bonding experience for women and we quickly seized on those opportunities realizing our strength came in numbers within those organizations.  However, this power has come at a huge cost.  Even though women made valuable strides when it came to asserting their independence from men, they still wanted to be courted and dined by them too.

I also believe that it’s a whole lot easier to deal with your own sex than to deal with the opposite.  Why go through the trouble in trying to understand how the opposite sex thinks, feels, and does when you can just go with the group which is similar to you and not go through the hassle.  I’ve coached a lot of women and many of them seem very content in these types of clubs while silently “crying in the dark”.

To help women with this dilemma, I’ve listed a few types of co-ed clubs and activities below.  These clubs help women find comfort and camaraderie with other women and yet also give them the freedom to meet single men as well.

1.       Team Sports Fan Clubs – If you are a fan of certain sports teams, than why not join a fan club?  This is a great way to meet men who also are a fan of your team.  What great way to meet someone single and celebrate your team’s victory. 

2.       Small Business Entrepreneurial groups – These groups are popping up everywhere as more and more people want information on how to start their own businesses.  When it comes to business, you’ll see a fair amount of both men and women in these types of groups.  Even if you’ve never wanted to start your own business, you may be able to get great contacts in case you need any future services.

3.       Tennis/Golf/Running clubs –These clubs are fun and not only can you bond with other women, meet single men, but get a good work out in as well.  There are generally a lot of outings they provide so members can meet each other along with competitions among members and eventually the camaraderie you’ll share being a member of the club.

4.       Political Groups – Politics are not everyone’s favorite topic on their list of things to talk about on a date but this type of group will ensure you at least have this one thing in common.  I’ve seen so many people connect through political conventions and conferences so I would be hard pressed not to put this one on the list.  Who knows, maybe you will meet the next town Mayor!

5.       Boxing/Martial Arts/High Intensity Fitness Clubs – If you are a highly athletic woman, these types of clubs may be for you.  They tend to be filled with both men and women who are serious about getting in shape.  The good news is that you’ll meet someone else on the same level as you athletically with the same thing in common increasing your odds of meeting Mr. Right!

6.       Wealth Or Investment Building Clubs – If you want to learn more about how to have financial success through investments, then this is the right club for you.  Both men and women join these clubs with the hope of growing their investments and learning tips around money management.  This could be a great club for someone who is new to investments and really wants to know how to manage their money or meet a certain someone who can teach them!

7.       Religious Singles Groups – Religion and spirituality bonds many people together who walk the same path in life.  This is generally a deal breaker on many single’s list if their potential partner does not share their same religion or philosophy.  At least, meeting someone here will ensure that you do share an important value and opens the door to many other possibilities.

8.       College Alumni Clubs – Education is a fundamental value that many people would like to share with their potential spouse.  These clubs are full of men and women who reminisce about their past college lives while helping to build the future for future alumni. 

So are all girl clubs keeping women single?  Well, my objective in writing this article was not to publicly criticize all girl clubs but to make women think more critically about their purpose in joining one and list a few other alternatives.  There is nothing wrong with women building organizations together or going out to “ladies night” from time to time.  Yet, if you’ve been single for a long period of time and are a member of a number of these types of clubs or participate in a lot of these activities, this may be the reason as you may be defeating your own purpose.  Maybe it’s worth re-evaluating your purpose and your needs at this point in your life and determining if these clubs and activities are still a good fit. 

Just Food for Thought!

Game On Ladies! The Top 5 Dos and Don’ts To Watching Football!

Sarah joined fans to sing the team anthem….only problem was she sang the anthem of the other team!

I’ll admit I’m a HUGE football fanatic.  On any given day, you’ll see me at tailgate parties, painting my face with the team colors or performing odd rituals in hopes that my team will win the championship.  Over the years, the game of football has quickly become a huge popular past time beating out baseball as the great American sport.  But don’t take my word for it, just go to the grocery store on any given Sunday morning and watch the amount of people wearing the team colors in your city or state.

I encourage women to get into the game of football because men love women who follow and understand the game.  Sure, they would date a woman who isn’t into the game but I’m sure most of them would prefer a woman who is so they can understand why they dedicate their whole life…ahem…I mean Sundays following it.

So I’ve decided to write a few do’s and don’ts for women who are interested in getting into the sport and would love to have a few tips on what to do to help make their transition successful.

Do:

1.       Pick A Favorite Team – Check out the local home team in your city or state.  It’s much more fun to share in the victory (or defeat!) with the locals who follow the game than to pick a team in a different state where you can’t join in the festivities.   

2.       Be Knowledgeable About Football And Your Team! – I’ve seen guys light up when a woman knows her stuff about football.  It’s like they’ve met their future wife.  If you can “talk the talk”, they will love you even more.  Now if you can serve up a great entrée of Buffalo wings and cook a mean pot of Chilli, then you’ll be in there girlfriend!

3.       Make Friends With Other Fans (Preferably Men If You’re Single!) – Absolutely!  Now ladies, this is your time to shine.  There’s plenty of single men lurking  at the game or in sports bars and would love to see an attractive woman in which to converse about sports and football.  Even if you don’t “click” with any of those men, you’ll have met new friends (who can introduce you to more single male friends!)..wink wink!

4.       Break Out That Cute Little Jersey – You know we love fashion.  Why not buy a cute jersey or break out that cute outfit sporting your team colors.  You can be fashionable and also fun at the same time.  Just don’t overdo it!  This is where you’ll shine and…um…catch the attention of a certain someone!

5.       Learn To Drink Beer – Ladies, I know how you feel with this one.  Many of us have not acquired the taste of beer but if you’re at a sports bar, you may find it to be a lot cheaper to learn how to drink it.  I have a great tip for you on this one.  Ask the bartender if they have a sweeter version of a beer which should help you transition into drinking it.   They usually do have a brand of beer that is sweet just in case there’s a virgin drinker in the house!

Don’t!

1.        Flip Flop Between Teams – I’ll admit this one is a pet peeve of mine.  If you’re a Dallas Cowboys fan, please don’t jump on the Washington Redskin’s bandwagon when you’re team starts losing.  It just makes you seem like you aren’t very loyal to your team.  I’m sure if you’re cute enough, men won’t really care, just think you aren’t very serious about the game.

2.       Wear The Wrong Team Colors To A Game – If you can’t pick a favorite team but get invited to watch a  game, just wear the local team colors so you won’t stand out in the crowd, unless of course you really want to!  You don’t have to be a fan but it does show you’re at least respectful of the local area team.

3.       Tell Your Man You Want To “Talk” During The Game – This one is brutal!  Ladies, I know you have things on your mind and need to share them with your significant other but unless they’re life threatening emergencies, try to wait at least until after the game is over.  Men watch the game as a way to escape reality for a few hours and starting a serious conversation during that time will not go over very well.  You want him to be fully focused on you rather than tell you what you want to hear in that moment.

4.       Giving A Pep Talk To Your Man If The Team Loses –  You let him know “it’s just a game” but he feels it’s more than just a game.  It’s about the championship.  But win or lose, he’s prepared either way the game goes.  He’s been through this a million times.   He’ll get over it.

5.       Change The Channel During The Game – Picture this…you’re watching TV…the quarterback throws the ball….and CLICK!  The worse thing that you can do is turn the channel and it’s the game winning ball!  You wouldn’t like it if someone changed the channel on you so don’t do it to your friends and family. 

What’s there not to like about the game of football?  It brings together people of all backgrounds and ethnicities to share in the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat with fellow fans.  And not to mention, it’s a great way to meet that special someone.  So check the schedule, grab your girlfriends and spend a day at the game or your local sports bar.  Just try a few of the  tips from having a favorite team to being knowledgeable about the game  may just score you brownie points with Mr. Right.  And who knows, you may even decide to wear the team colors at your wedding!

Please DO add to this list of Do’s and Don’ts or share your own below.

                For more helpful dating tips, please check out my website at www.liveloveaspire.blogspot.com             or inquire about my date coaching services at www.liveloveaspire.com.

Bootcamp Dating Exclusive II - Saturday September 21st

Due to overwhelming demand, I will be hosting another dating bootcamp in Columbia, MD.  The event is scheduled to be held on Saturday September 21st at 2pm and tentatively to be located at the Owen Brown Village Center.  If you are in the Baltimore-DC metro area, please don't miss out on this event.  Contact me for further details.

Should You Date An Unemployed Man?

When a man loses his job, does he have to lose his woman too?

As a general rule of thumb, I don’t advise women to date a man who is unemployed.  Now this may seem cold and heartless but if you’ve ever been unemployed then you would know how stressful this situation can be on a relationship, particularly a new one.  New relationships need time, patience and a little nurturing in order for them to develop successfully.  If you’re constantly worried about where your next meal is going to come from, then you’re not in a position to give it the tender loving care it needs to survive.

In general, men associate their job and financial status with their identity.  Women, on the other hand, associate their family and social status with their identity.  Both sexes derive their survival from the income they earn from their jobs but men gain a whole lot more from it and therefore, lose a whole lot more from it when the job doesn’t exist for them anymore.  I believe most men want to be able to take care of their spouse or significant other and that includes being able to provide for her financially.  Sure, women can take care of themselves these days but I think most men still want to feel like they are the breadwinners, even when it’s not true, and of course most women still like to be courted by a man, at least in the beginning.  It becomes devastating to men when they aren’t able to do this for those that they love.  As one male client I had puts it, “being unemployed makes me feel less of a man”.

So what’s a woman to do when dating a guy who is unemployed?  Well, I never recommend starting out dating a guy who is unemployed.  However, with that being said, if you’re in an existing relationship and you’re significant other suddenly becomes unemployed, you have a few things to consider.  I have listed a few questions below to ask yourself when dating a guy who becomes unemployed:

1.       What is his plan of action for getting a new job?  A man with a plan always gets the job.  Observe his daily routines to determine if he is actively seeking employment.  Have you seen him sending out resumes or making calls to prospective employers?  Or has he given up hope in his job search?  Being laid off is already a tough situation but it can be made even worse when the person who is unemployed isn’t even attempting to get back into the work force.  Symbolically, when you’re dating someone, this is something you need to watch because if the person can give up this easily in a job search, then they may just as easily give up on you in marriage.  On the other hand, if they have the will and the desire to get out there and get another job despite the obstacles, you’ll know you have a winner in marriage as well.

2.       What is his previous employment history?  Being laid off from a job is one thing but being chronically laid off from jobs is quite another.  This may indicate someone who doesn’t have a great track record of being employed.  In other words, he may be incapable of maintaining employment.  This may impact your relationship when you’re ready to have a family or buy a house together and your partner doesn’t have stable finances or even good credit.  You’ll need to decide if you can deal with his lack of stability or whether you need to cut your losses.

3.       How does he occupy his time while he is unemployed?  What does he do with his free time when he isn’t looking for employment?  Is he volunteering at a local shelter or helping out at the neighborhood church?  He has to be able to channel his energy into doing something positive to prevent boredom and even depression.  Perhaps he is helping you around the house to make your life easier.  If he can channel his energy into hobbies or helping other people, it may ease a little tension in the situation and highlight some of his other qualities that you may not have seen in him previously.

4.       What preparations have you made to pick up the tab for dates or buy more groceries for meals at home?  Losing a job not only creates a strain on the person involved but also on the relationship as well.  You’ll need to be financially prepared to take on this challenge.  If you’re used to him paying for the date, then you’ll need to get used to paying for the dates yourself from now on or regularly spending extra money on more groceries for the two of you.  Either way, you’ll have to budget wisely for the two of you to enjoy an evening together.

5.       What is his attitude in this situation?  Interestingly enough, it’s not the actual unemployment that could break up the relationship, it’s the person’s attitude in the situation.  Unfortunately, the stress of not having employment can weigh heavily on a person’s attitude towards life which also affects how they relate to other people.  If he’s constantly complaining, you’ll be ready to end it immediately.  If you can get him to see the brighter side of life, you may be able avoid the pain of a break-up.  If not, don’t feel guilty about ending the relationship.  It may be something that needs to happen in order for the person to find the motivation they need to get back on track.

6.       For long term unemployment, what preparations have you made to support and take care of this person during their unemployment?  Long term unemployment is brutal.  This person would be completely dependent on you for everything.  Remember, they don’t have any (or very limited) sources of income so even paying for gas in the car to go anywhere is a struggle.  This creates an enormous strain on the relationship as you’ll be the main breadwinner.  This relationship requires a lot of love and patience and if you’re not up for the challenge, than I suggest you get out of it as soon as possible.

Being laid off or terminated can be a challenging situation for a person.  And when it comes to dating, it places a huge amount of stress on both individuals involved.  Relationships need time to grow and it can only happen when both individuals have the time and patience to nurture and guide the relationship successfully.  If it is an existing relationship where it has had time to grow, there may be hope.  If the unemployed person is actively seeking employment rather than passively waiting for the phone to ring, then you have someone who has the will and desire to make it happen.  However, if you check the person’s previous employment history and find he has been chronically terminated or laid off from a series of jobs, you may have cause for concern.    

Dating a man who is unemployed takes love, patience and a lot of support to help the person get back on their feet.  The person may be struggling financially, depressed at times and even suicidal.  If you choose to stay with your partner during those times, the benefits could be enormous including a stronger relationship.  On the other hand, if you decide the relationship is not for you, you have that option too as you’re still in the dating phase of the relationship determining whether he could be a good fit.  Either way, you will have made an informed decision for your life and helped the other person make one as well.

Good Luck!

For more helpful dating tips, please check out my website at www.liveloveaspire.blogspot.com or inquire about my date coaching services at www.liveloveaspire.com.