I’ll admit I’ve been a little sad these days because of the shenanigans going on in Washington right now but I’m trying to push through it. Lord help us all! One of the ways I get through it is in writing about various topics including relationships on the meet up board or on my blog. Well last night, I had an interesting conversation with a colleague that I wanted to share with you. She was telling me how she met her beau. She said she met him at a relative’s party but that he had a girlfriend at the time. She said they stayed in contact but that was all to it. She said she didn’t think anything of it and moved on with life. Then she went on to say that one day he told her that he and his girlfriend had broken up. She said they started talking as friends and later he asked her to be his girlfriend. That was a few months ago and they're still going strong. That’s a great Rules beginning.
I then asked her what she thought his plans were for Valentine’s Day. She blew me away with her answer. She said, “Honestly, I’ve never really had a boyfriend on Valentine’s day”. I usually celebrate the day with everybody. But I know he has something planned, as she smiled about it. That’s a great sentiment to have about Valentine’s day.
Now just imagine if she would’ve rushed in this situation. I can tell you what could’ve happened. He may have not been over his ex-girlfriend and consequently, treated her like a side fling. Her patience enabled him to allow their friendship to blossom while he took the time to evaluate whether he still wanted to be with his ex-girlfriend. Patience is key.
Practicing the Rules isn’t easy! That’s why we need them. I’ve seen so many times when a woman has rushed a relationship that wasn’t supposed to be, got hurt in the process and wondered how things got to that point. In general, relationships take time to develop. Usually, it’s the woman who has to slow down the process in order to allow this to happen. Men are like kids in a candy store. They want it all now! I know it isn’t fair (life isn’t fair!) but if you want a long term rather than a short term relationship, this is what you may need to do.
And like my colleague, you may have to spend a lot of holidays alone because you have set your standards on a long term commitment rather than a one night affair. Trust me, we’ve all been there. But at least you’re spending it drama free. You’re taking the time to heal yourself from past relationships while also taking the time to think about what you want in the future. You’re pampering yourself and getting ready to meet Mr. Right! And planning to make the next holiday a shared one!