He sees this
beautiful woman standing in a crowded café waiting to get served. He approaches her with the anticipation of a
school boy hoping she will go out with him or at least give him a few minutes
of her time. Finally, he takes a breath
and asks for her name. Demurely, she
looks at him, smiles and it feels like time has stopped in its tracks. Everyone in the café seems to disappear as
they stand staring into each other’s eyes and awakening each other’s hearts.
The courtship
process is full of twists and turns while two people dance to the same rhythmic
beat. The start of the romance is the happiest,
most exciting time when the couple anticipates the pleasure of being with the
other person. Physically, our hormones
become activated signaling the mating process and emotionally our hearts become
enmeshed with the other person. There is just this great adrenaline rush that
comes over us that we tend to forget about everything else in life. If you’ve ever been in love and seen two
people in love, then you know that life becomes much more interesting during
this time.
Most of us love the
courtship, particularly when the romance is enriching and fulfilling for our
lives. However, we just don’t know how to finely “walk the tightrope” so that
we don’t overwhelm and annoy the other person.
Courtship is a dance that has to be carefully maneuvered at every
turn. Every move counts. Every gesture made and every word spoken has
an implication for the dance. Our
partner has to respond in kind or else the courtship dies. It takes two to tango and if one person becomes
uninterested, then the courtship is over.
And this is where most of us get stuck.
Courting, in and of
itself, should be a very natural process for us. I believe we have made this dance very
complex by not following the rules and protocols already set up for our success
by nature (or grandma!). We’ve tried to
take control over our partner’s life to get them to do what we want them to do
which never really works! We begin the
dance as a couple and end it with one partner screaming in the other partner’s
ear telling them what to do and wonder where our romance has gone.
However, when we
allow the process to work naturally taking care to respect and understand the
other person’s feelings whether we like them or not, the dance always seems to
work out in our favor. Our partners feel
free to be themselves and we get to have a partner fully committed to us. We get to maintain our own sense of
independence in our dance and allow our partners to do the same making our
dance more enjoyable. How cool is that?
In short, courtship
can be one of the most enjoyable experiences when we give our partners the respect
they deserve from us. We allow them the
space to dance and make their own decisions whether to respond to our moves or
choose another dance partner. And we
allow ourselves the chance to maintain our own sense of independence and identity
so that no matter what happens throughout the dance, we still come out of it
with a greater sense of inspiration and transformation.
Good Luck!
For more helpful dating tips,
please check out my website at www.liveloveaspire.blogspot.com
or you may inquire about my dating/relationship coaching services at www.liveloveaspire.com.
It’s Here! My New Book:
Live Love Aspire: Learn How To Live Your Best Life And Find The
Love Of Your Dreams
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