Sunday, May 18, 2014

Battle of the Sexes….Or Is It?

You say I love you hoping he’ll say it back….then he goes and washes the dishes!

As if you didn’t already know it, men and women are completely different from us when it comes to relationships.  I know as women we wish this weren’t the case but the reality is that they are quite different.  This may actually be a good thing.  How would you like to date yourself?  Exactly my point.  Let’s explore more in depth how they are different and how we can bring both sexes together to embrace these differences.

Women are very nurturing and caring people.  We are blessed with these abilities to be able to raise and take care of our children.  From the moment a woman is pregnant with her baby, her nurturing instincts start to kick in for her child.  Or even if a woman isn’t interested in having children, she will usually put that energy into her family or personal relationships.  There’s just some things that I believe women are much better at doing although I do acknowledge the efforts of modern day men who have come full circle in embracing their feminine, nurturing side as well.

It’s not to say men aren’t very nurturing and caring people too but it’s usually not their main motivation or goal in life.  They go through life wanting to win battles, slay dragons, and save the damsel in distress.  They feel fulfilled when they are out solving problems or taking care of the household financially.  Even to the point of fixing things around the house so the family can live better.  That’s how they show their love.  They try to make it easier for the women they love the most in their lives and the family they cherish.  The only catch is they don’t always communicate what they are doing and why they are doing it causing women to feel frustrated. 

On the other hand, women want better communication with men.  They want to talk about their feelings.  They want to hear men say “I love you” or “I need you”.  But men say this with their actions.  And that’s why there is such a “battle of the sexes”.  We really do love each other but we have to find an “intersection” in our communication styles where we can hear what the other person is saying in their native tongue.

But let’s try this.  The next time your man does something as simple as opening the door for you or maybe more complex as changing the oil in your car so you can get to work, show him you appreciate him by saying something as simple as “thank you baby”.  Seriously.  It’s really that easy.  He’s saying I love you enough to do this for you.  You’re saying I love you enough to say thank you and appreciate you for being the man in my life.  Believe me….he’ll thank you later for it!

Now I do realize that the battle of the sexes is far more complex than I’ve just described but it has to start somewhere.  And interestingly enough, when men are appreciated for the little things they’ve done, they’ll not only start showing you how much they care more but also begin communicating their feelings as well.  It’s always amazing how much more open men feel to express their feelings when a woman has done her part to help him feel at ease around her.

I should also mention that this works in the reverse as well.  If your man does nothing for you and you are wondering whether he still cares or is interested in you, you should be taking notes.  This isn’t a good sign.  Again, men speak through their actions.  If his actions are telling you he isn’t interested anymore, that may be your cue to move on or change the course of direction in your relationship. 

To recap, the battle of the sexes will always be around as long as we fail to ignore the differences between men and women.  We as women love to communicate our feelings but need to be mindful of the fact that men are different from us and communicate their feelings through their actions.  If he isn’t showing you he cares, then he probably doesn’t.  On the other hand, if he is showing you he cares every chance he gets, he’s a keeper.  And if you play your cards right, you’ll get to keep him for life.

Good Luck!

For more helpful dating tips, please check out my website at or you may inquire about my dating/relationship coaching services at

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