Monday, June 16, 2014

Should You Quit Your Job To Find Love?

Is Sacrificing Your Love Life For Your Career Really Worth it?  Let’s explore…

Let’s face it.  You’re single, over 35, and yearn to have a family of your own someday.  You start to feel guilty because you’ve worked so hard in college to get a top notch career only to find that this life isn’t quite what you wanted.  You’re lonely and the career doesn’t quite meet that need.  You know you’re perfectly happy being single but also know how much better it would be to find someone special.  Well, you’re not alone in your thoughts.  A lot of women are pondering this same issue.  Is this career really worth it?

When we look back in history, women have always been on the forefront making major contributions to society.  They have obtained a wide range of degrees lending their abilities to the areas of medicine, technology, education and business just to name a few.  They have even exceeded all expectations of graduating college and succeeded men in attendance at many of these colleges and universities.  It is no wonder that women nowadays are leading corporations.  Even men marvel at the wonders of women and their strength to succeed despite any obstacles.

But let’s not kid ourselves.  With all of this advancement comes sacrifice.  You sacrifice your love life for your career advancement.  Its fine when you’re younger but it comes at a price later on in life.  At first, you work endlessly to get the corner office.  Then you become the “employee of the month” and your boss can’t stop bragging about you.  You are the star of the show. 

Yet, you still come home to an empty house.  Only your cats can enjoy your well framed certificates hanging on the wall to signify all your hard work.  Your boss goes home to his wife and your administrative assistant could hardly care less about the job other than to support her kids.  They all have lives outside of the job.  They secretly pity you but enjoy reaping the benefits of your tireless efforts of working overtime or on the weekends to help “save the company”.

Now as depressing as this may sound, I don’t advocate quitting your job to find love (at least not right away!).  I would never advocate leaving a job but I’ve seen some women working countless hours at work only to come home to the comfort of their cats. 

So for those of you on the verge of either quitting your job to find love or buying new litter boxes for additional “family” members, I’ve listed a few points below to get you thinking in the right direction.

1.       What do you really want out of life?  It’s important for you to be clear on where you are right now and where you’re trying to go.  You are creating a blueprint for the direction of your life.  Visualize your life 10 years from now and what would make you happy.  This will help you to identify a path to leaving your job if that’s appropriate for you.

2.       What are the major obstacles stopping you from getting the love you want?  Maybe it’s not the job but how you manage the job that is stopping you from achieving your dreams.  Is it possible for you to re-arrange your schedule to be able to leave work at an appropriate time?  Is there a flexible working schedule that would be more appropriate for you?  How is my time management in general?  Do I feel it necessary to work weekends to cover up my sense of feeling lonely?  If quitting the job is not feasible, why not try online dating or hire a matchmaker to help you find the love you want?  These are just a few starter questions to ask yourself to uncover the real obstacles preventing you from finding love.

3.       How will my finances be affected if I am to quit my job?  This is a big one.  Leaving a job without having another one can really wreak havoc on your finances.  It’s still not that easy out there to find a job.  If you decide that the job is really the main cause of turmoil in your love life, then you’ll need to think about how you’ll be able to survive without having that source of income.

4.       Make an action plan NOW!  It’s far too complicated to just quit your job.  You need a plan of action.  Start saving your money and see how much it would take to live off of it for at least a year.  Taking a year off of work will give you a chance to breathe without the stresses of work obligations freeing you to meet people more easily.  Try to pay off your long term bills and debt so they’re not looming over your head.  This process isn’t easy but if this is your decision, make sure your plans are air-tight.

Finding love is one of the most challenging things in life, especially when you’re working long hours and weekends not having any time to find someone.  However, it is the most rewarding too.  Develop a plan of action and make it a priority.  In my line of work, I’ve seen people work themselves almost into the grave only to then discover the true meaning of life.  When I advise my clients about their work habits, I have to sadly remind them that all of their accolades won’t be written on their tombstone, their position can always be replaced and their co-workers may or may not be in attendance at their funeral, but your family, friends and loved ones will be there every time.  They can’t replace you, even if they tried.   

Food For Thought!

For more helpful dating tips, please check out my website at or you may inquire about my dating/relationship coaching services at

If you happen to live in the Baltimore-DC metro area, please do inquire about my upcoming workshops.  The next workshop series will be held on June 21st in Columbia, Maryland.  If interested, please email us at 

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