So I know I’m cute and all….but can a sistah get a break from your creepy stare!
When you’re a relatively attractive girl, you’re bound to be harassed by some dude who thinks he is entitled to be with you. I usually laugh this off with my girlfriends about the creepy older dude at the bar who is well past his prime staring at women barely his age. But it gets rather disturbing when you start thinking what he was doing when you were born! So I write this blog for all those girls out there who are continuously harassed by those creepy older men who won’t take NO for an answer and those older men who are genuinely interested in learning to respect women.
I’ve finally come to the conclusion that as the spokesperson for the “cute girl association” there is no stopping these creepy guys from harassing you either with their creepy stares or obsessive conversation with you. Of course, if you are a nice girl, you try the nice tactic first hoping he will get the hint and go away and then when that doesn’t work, you proceed to warning him of the men in your family who like to protect their baby girl from creeps like him! I suppose if you’re young or youthful looking, cute and keep a polished look, then be prepared to be subjected to this harassment.
Now before we get too carried away with this topic, let me preface this by saying it’s definitely not all men! But I think older men can appear creepier because most of us believe they should be married by now at their age and doing things older men do or at the very minimum have learned to respect women in their maturity. When I see older men harassing younger women, I think it is truly a sad scenario that he has to go to such great lengths to get a woman to like him. Having such a vast amount of experiences with their age, you would think they would know better!
But when did older men become so creepy? You know I believe it’s happened somewhere between divorce, kids, job loss and perhaps playing the field with no intention on settling down. Now they realize it’s time to settle with someone but yet those same women who were once there for him, are all married now or no longer have an interest. And yet, the same approach they used when they were younger isn’t working anymore so they’re left helpless to find an approach that works at their age.
What about all the George Clooney’s and Denzel Washington’s of this world? Well, some guys just seem to have that thing we call “swag”. They don’t have to harass a woman yet show her that he truly cares for her and wants to get to know her. Those type of guys have a lot going on for themselves and therefore get lots of women so there’s no need for those guys to go around and harass them. They’re also much more of a challenge making the dating scene much more exciting. Whereas with creepy older men, the chase always seems to be with the older man chasing the younger woman despairingly.
So what’s an older guy to do to win over a woman without harassing her? Well, I’m glad you asked this question. I’ll be happy to share with you a few tips to get you started in the right direction.
1. Have a great approach – Acknowledge your intentions for her. Ensure you have the right intentions because if you just want to get in her pants, she’ll figure it out immediately. Remember, you are not a “spring chicken” anymore so your intentions are laid out for the whole world to see. In other words, as you get older you can’t get away with what you may have when you were younger. Try a light hearted approach with her and see if she responds and if she doesn’t….proceed to step #2
2. You can flirt but you still may be rejected – Fellas, you can flirt all you want but she still may not like you. You have to learn to walk away if she doesn’t accept your invitation. Have some respect for yourself. I’ve seen some men get embarrassed from their lack of awareness that the girl he wants doesn’t want him. It’s nothing personal. She just chose someone else over you. The more you can walk away, the more respect you’ll have…and your dignity!
3. Stop staring – Fellas, I know you like her a lot but please don’t do the creepy stare! Not only is it totally disgusting but also perverted to have a guy the age of your father look at you this way. You can flirt with her without staring, but if she doesn’t respond, you’ll need to move on!
4. Look the part – This is particularly true of older men. Somehow, when the swag goes away so do the clothes. I’ve seen older men wear clothes from the year they were born. If you want to attract a younger woman, wearing clothes from 1964 is not the answer! Hire an image consultant or go to a men’s department store to update your clothing attire so at least she’ll know you got style. You may be older but you’re not dead!
5. Get to know her – Dating and mating takes time. I think the older people get, the more they stop taking their time to get to know someone. But the more you rush this process, the creepier you’ll come across to her. Besides, if you take your time, you can tell if she is the one for you. I mean…you waited this long for someone…what’s a little more time going to cost you?
Well, I hope this blog was a bit helpful to all my cute girls who are continuously harassed by creepy older men or older men who are genuinely interested in learning to respect women in which they would like to date. As I said, it certainly isn’t all older men who are creepy so apologies to all the men who know how to talk to a woman. I figure someone needs to address this problem so it might as well be me! So ladies, the next time you’re out on the street or at the bar and some creepy older dude starts harassing you, just give him these tips and send him on his way!
Thanks for reading
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