Sunday, September 21, 2014

Why Don’t Matchmakers Serve More Female Clients?

Male clients vs Female clients….why men are preferred!

As a relationship coach and professional matchmaker, I believe the work I do brings enormous benefits to both men and women looking for love and long term relationships.  Both men and women seek me out to try and find that special someone to complete their lives.  And it is both an honor and a privilege for me to work with them in this process.  But unfortunately, from the matchmaking side of my business, I’ve had to turn away hundreds of women who I know would not be ideal to work for to match them with their ideal mates.

I think most of us as matchmakers love the idea of helping people, particularly women who we know are desperately seeking help in finding love.  Those are the people who you want to work for because the reward of knowing you helped them find someone is priceless.  And I know at that moment I’ve chosen the right occupation.  But then there are days when you have a client, most of the time it is a female, when you know she just isn’t a good fit for your business and you have to let her down at a time when she needs you the most.

So what are the real reasons why matchmakers don’t serve more female clients?  I get asked this question all the time so I wanted to give some insight.  Please see just a few of the reasons below in no specific order.  I’m sure other professional matchmakers can add or delete reasons to this list but these are my reasons for limiting the amount of women I serve as clients.

1.       Men are very traditional – From my experiences of working with men, they tend to be very traditional when it comes to dating.  They still like to hunt and chase women.  They still like to be the head of their household.  I don’t have a problem with this concept since my business is founded on traditional forms of dating and courtship but when I added the matchmaking component to my business for both men and women, I knew my business model had to change.  Since I work with men who still enjoy taking the lead in relationships, I knew I could only work with them as matchmaking clients but then continue to work with women as coaching clients.  I do still take women but on a very limited basis.

2.       Larger pool of women – Sorry, ladies…there are more of you than of the men we can find for you.  I really do wish this wasn’t the case but it’s true.  I get tons of applications from women wanting to be matched to the right guy to which I have to reject half of them for reasons I list here in this article.  I can easily find great women for my male clients just about everywhere.  Nevertheless, there are still some great guys out there for you but we as professional matchmakers have to be realistic about who we can match or we will be out of business!

3.       Women tend to seek perfection – Because women tend to have such high standards, I usually have to coach them to be more flexible in their requirements in a mate.  This is the reason I still take lots of women as coaching clients.  We want this perfect mate who is virtually non-existent.  Everyone has their faults and flaws because we’re only human.  I believe our parents and society tells us to reach for the stars but then don’t give us a realistic view on how high we should go to find him!  Once I can coach a woman to be more realistic in her choices then I may be able to work with matching her to the right mate. 

4.       Women (in general) can’t always afford matchmaker’s fees – I’ve found in my business that many women I encounter can’t always afford (or want) to pay the fees I charge for my services.  They love the idea of having someone partner with them on finding a mate but hate the idea of having to pay for it.  I don’t really blame them.  Again, I’m very traditional so I believe men should be the ones who pay for the service.  I always need women to match my male clients so I do accept women to list in my database as non-paying members to choose from for my male clients.

5.       Men who pay a matchmaker (in general) want women of a certain caliber – I work with everyone from successful male doctors and lawyers to average Joe’s and they all seem to want the same type of things in a woman.  They want her to be successful but not domineering, beautiful but not obnoxious, and caring but not overly nurturing (aka clingy!).  A woman with great posture, elegance and sophistication applies here too!  My clients may find some of these qualities with some women and other qualities with other women on their own.  But when they’re paying a hefty fee for a matchmaker – they want the total package – no exceptions!  These are qualities they can’t always find on their own either because they’re too busy or just simply hanging out in the wrong places.

In short, both men and women are looking to find love these days via online or offline dating services.  We as professional matchmakers have dedicated our lives to making their dreams come true.  And although I’ve limited the amount women I take on clients, I encourage all women to continuously work on themselves both internally and externally to attract the right mate.  There’s always a relationship seminar or workshop hosted by a relationship expert or author going on locally in your area where you can learn lots of information on how to have a great relationship.  Take advantage of every opportunity to update your looks, your demeanor and how you are perceived by men.  And who knows, maybe then you can become your own successful matchmaker!

Thanks for reading!

For more helpful dating tips, please check out my website at or you may inquire about my dating/relationship coaching services at

No comments:

Post a Comment