Sunday, February 2, 2014

Help, I Have A Secret Crush On Someone!

Are you in love with someone who doesn’t know you exist?

We’ve probably all had a secret crush on someone.  It’s relatively harmless when you think about it.  You can admire someone from a distance.  Maybe they help you to look your best or help to aspire you to your best self when you’re around them.  There’s virtually nothing wrong with that notion.  However, when we start creating a relationship with the person in our mind without the other person’s consent, that’s when it becomes a problem.

The best example of a secret crush I can give you could be the love you feel for your personal trainer or doctor but it could also be anyone else who is in a position to be really helpful towards you or that you admire a lot.  You can talk to him about anything and he will listen to you free of any type of judgment.  You begin to look forward to seeing him on a regular basis.  He shows you warmth and tender loving care every time you meet.  He even flirts with you periodically.  You think that you’re in love.  No one has ever showed you as much attention as him.

However, if you look closer into how he treats his other clients you would see that you may not be so special!  It’s just part of his business.  He is in a business where charm and charisma are necessary to get clients!  He treats you the way he feels you need to be treated so he can keep you happy and content with his services.  Otherwise, you would look for someone else!

You may be wondering what would happen if he reciprocated those same feelings you have for him?  Well, if he is really interested in you, he will let you know by asking you out on a date.  You need to be clear of his intentions for you.  And don’t be fooled by him asking you for your phone number because he may just want to keep in touch with you for any cancellations, re-scheduled appointments or other reasons outside of any interest for you.  The best way you’ll know he’s interested is if he asks you out on a date.  There really are no substitutes. 

So what if you told him how you feel?  Well, the truth of the matter is that you can tell him how you feel but be prepared for the consequences.  If he really isn’t interested in you, you will feel totally awkward.  What’s more is that you will have disrupted a great working relationship.  Once your feelings are released, your relationship with him will have to change whether it be that he is more careful with how he treats you going forward or that you become colder or bitter towards him in the process.  Either way, it’s a big risk so know what you are in for before you decide to take this approach.

But just to make you feel better, I will say that sometimes it’s just a matter of timing.  If, by chance, he does indeed have a crush on you as well, it may not be the right time.  He may want to honor the professional relationship he has towards you by not taking it further until the work is done.  Or he may simply be involved with someone else and not want to break your heart.  You certainly don’t want to have someone else’s leftovers when you can have your own meal!

The best case scenario is that you wait for him to make the first move.  You are certainly allowed to day dream about him as long as you don’t act out on it.  You can even casually flirt with him as long as you keep it strictly harmless.  Try not to dress like a slouch when you’re around him so he does notice you improving your chances of him making a move.  But do continue to date other people so you have a life outside of him.  This way if or when he does come around, you won’t have wasted your time waiting for him.  And if he does not, well, then you’ll have your answer but you will have moved on anyway!

Good luck!

For more helpful dating tips, please check out my website at or you may inquire about my dating/relationship coaching services at

No comments:

Post a Comment