Sunday, July 20, 2014

Guys, Can We Bring Back Chivalry?

For opening doors, killing the creepy, crawly spiders, protecting us...we say thank you!

I can’t tell you how many seminars and workshops I attend where the topic of chivalry in dating comes up.  Usually, women complain there are no chivalrous men anymore and that chivalry is dead.  Men counter back and say if chivalry is dead, you killed it!  Back and forth we go as the battle of the sexes heats up!  No one wins the game of who is to blame and everybody suffers because of it.  Well, let me be the first to say they’re both right.  Chivalry has been dying a slow death and yes, women have a part to play in its passing. 

Now that I’ve got your attention, please allow me to explain my reasoning.  For years, men have been chivalrous towards women with just a hope or possibility of being able to spend time with the women they adore.  And women, for years have been accepting their chivalrous actions, sometimes without offering so much as a thank you for their kind gestures.  It’s no wonder men have started to revolt against women for taking them for granted.

For instance, I was listening to a sports radio DJ one day discussing how distraught he was with a woman who didn’t appreciate him for opening the door for her.  He was so disheartened that he started questioning himself for opening the door for her in the first place.  Most of the listeners called in to plead with him to continue to be chivalrous despite the attitude of this woman.  I really don’t think women realize the importance of such a gesture by a man because if they did they would appreciate them for doing so a lot more often.

As women, we must understand the importance of admiration and appreciation towards men.  It is like the butter and bread of their existence.  A man must feel needed and wanted to be able to continue to do the things that please women.  Women, on the other hand, must feel cherished and loved.  Men and women are simply different in the things we need from each other.  Once we respect those differences, we’ll learn how to respect each other.

You know, some of us as women have been hurt by men so much so that when we do meet a guy who offers a kind gesture, we don’t know what to do!  And others have become so bitter and hardened by life that we just simply forget that chivalrous men even exist.  But there are so many others of us out there that really do understand, admire and respect men who truly know how to treat a woman.      

So fellas, I know you’ve been hurt by women not appreciating you for the great things you do but please don’t give up on us.  We really do need you a LOT.  We love when you open the door for us, help us with our groceries, take out the garbage, lift heavy boxes, mow the lawn, shovel snow for us, kill the creepy crawly spiders, change the oil in our cars, listen to us go on and on and on about our inconsiderate bosses, and forgive us when we can’t tell the difference between a quarterback and a cornerback!

We admit that we forget about you sometimes but we promise to pay more attention to all the wonderful ways you treat us.  We admire your strength when we become weak ourselves and how you go out and fight in this cold world just to ensure your family has what it takes to survive.  You are our backbone and we wouldn’t exist (both literally and physically!) without you.  If we ever forget to say thank you, just know we didn’t mean it.  Just give us a little nudge and wake us up!

Thank You!

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