Men love women in uniform…but not if she
acts and looks like a dude in it!
Men have long
thought women in uniform to be sexy especially with the possibility of her
toting a gun on her side (think Mr. and Mrs. Smith!). Even the idea of her giving orders in an
authoritarian way can present images to them of what she’s like in the
bedroom! However, many women that I have
spoken to are not quite as bold and dramatic as that type of woman. As a matter of fact, the ones I encounter want
to exhibit more of their femininity or their softer side and express themselves
more fully as women which they cannot do in their societal roles.
Specifically, I am
referring to women in the military, police and fire departments, security
guards, and other male dominated occupations.
Understandably, most of these occupations prohibit women from wearing
what can be perceived as feminine clothing such as dresses or skirts, high
heels and anything that could prevent them from doing their job well. They want them to be the best at their jobs, especially
when they are out saving people’s lives.
The thought is that how effective can you be when someone’s life is on
the line while you’re fixing your skirt?
Now most of these
women love their jobs or they wouldn’t have signed up for it. For example, society doesn’t require women to
join the military and she can leave when her time is up. But they are passionate about what they do
and can’t fathom leaving their careers. They
are the forgotten ones for whom society deems as heroes. Their contributions to our society are
enormous and they are the reason why we live freely and safe in our communities. We appreciate them for all they do for us.
But working in these
occupations comes at a price.
Eventually, they start to assume masculine traits prominent in those roles. Police officers have to be decisive, authoritarian
and dominant to be able to lead people to safety. Have you ever heard of an indecisive police
officer? Military leaders have to be
firm when giving orders to subordinates.
If you’re too soft spoken, you may lose respect of your command. All of these traits play a factor in moving
up the ranks in those careers.
So what’s a woman
to do when she wants to maintain her position but still be viewed as a feminine
woman? Well, I’ve come up with a few
helpful tips and guidance that may help you to maintain your “femme fatale.”
1.
Take note of your best feminine assets – Every woman is blessed with assets which are
attractive to men. Whether it is your
bodacious bust, beautiful eyes, long lean legs, or beautiful
lips. Think about what men compliment
you on the most when you are with them. When
you have identified your best assets, think about how you can enhance those
assets to make them more noticeable to the opposite sex. For example, if you have long legs and it is
appropriate to wear skirts to work, try wearing more of them so men notice them
more. If you have beautiful lips, why
not try wearing a really nice lip stick shade to bring more attention to
them. Hopefully, you get the point
here. You want to find your best
features and make them shine appropriately.
2.
Include as many feminine elements to your
wardrobe as possible, but still within the confines of what is appropriate in
your role – This may be a challenge
since most of these male oriented occupations have strict policies and
procedures. But I want you to try to “think
outside the box”. For example, if your
job allows you to wear earrings and you do not wear them, start including them as
part of your daily wardrobe. It’s simple
but it’s a start! If you’re not a woman
who wears make-up, try buying neutral shades of make-up which will give you a
subtle, yet noticeable difference in your appearance. Think about the shoes you wear. Are they normally run down or worse, manly? Consider finding shoes that are a bit more
feminine (e.g., low heel, beautiful style, color, etc.). Again, you’ll still have to abide by the
rules yet be more creative to allow your femininity to shine.
3.
Maintain a beautiful hair-do and
soft skin – I believe this may be an area where you have a little bit more
flexibility. Normally, these
organizations are more lenient to a woman’s hair as long as it is neat and
clean. So why not try out a few
hairstyles that work with your face. I
would seek out a great hairdresser for guidance on which cuts and styles make
you look fabulous. And always, have
great hair. Men love women with great
hair so this should always be your staple for expressing your femininity. Men know when a woman starts letting herself
go, it’s usually apparent in her hair.
Also,
we can’t forget about good skin care. I
think we’re all guilty of not maintaining our skin. But men love soft skin. And when you’re in a male dominated
occupation, you’re probably using your hands a lot which can cause callouses or
cause you to have manly hands. Using the
proper nourishing ingredients for your skin is crucial for you. Make lotions, oils, astringents, cleansing
scrubs a part of your daily routine.
4.
Pay attention to the sound of your voice – Men love the sound of a woman’s voice. But, this is wear it gets tricky! Police officers and military women have to be
able to project their voice at times to maintain authority. However, think about how you are using your
voice. If you have developed a trait of
speaking too loudly at people, try to soften it while still making your
point. You can actually be soft spoken
and people hear you if you are being articulate. Record your voice to hear what it sounds like
to other people. Is it too
abrasive? Is it too deep? If you were a man, would you be attracted to
this person. This will give you a chance
to hear what other people hear when you speak to them.
5.
Pay attention to your movements – Okay, this is getting easier! Most of the women I’ve observed in the
military have developed an authoritarian walk, either by necessity or by being
with men 24/7. Observe yourself in a
long mirror as you walk. Would your walk
be perceived as feminine? You may even
want to ask some of your best male friends how they perceive your walk? Are they afraid of you when you walk (in a not
so good way!)? If so, try to change it. You want to learn how to move with your
hips. Masculine walk is more
mechanical-like where feminine walk is more of a glide. It may be helpful to take yoga or dance
classes to become more flexible and more in tune with your body.
6.
Maintain a pleasant attitude at all times – No one can control how pleasant you are
towards other people. There are no
strict policies and procedures here. As a
matter of fact, it’s probably just the opposite. The more pleasant you are, the better your
chances of building stronger networks in your career and attracting men! There is no better way to be feminine than maintaining
a pleasant attitude. Even if you’re in a
masculine occupation, you can still shine as a woman by being pleasant towards
other people. If the job has made you a
bitter, cynical person, change this persona immediately! Think about things that make you grateful, like
the lives you save and the people who need your help.
In short, just
because you wear a uniform does not mean you have to be a man in it. You were hired as a woman so why not express
yourself as one. There are many ways to
maintain your femininity such as identifying and enhancing your best feminine
assets, including feminine elements in your total look, maintaining your hair
and skin care regimen, paying attention to your voice and movements and just
being pleasant to be around. These are
all ways you can still be feminine in your masculine role. The bonus is that they are all ways to be
attractive to men too! Men secretly love
this about us! But most importantly, you’re
being true to yourself and that’s the part that counts!
Good Luck!
