Why Not Say Yes?

So this morning I started thinking about what it would be like for a woman to say yes to every guy who asked her out on a date.  I laughed because I said that girl would have the “it” factor.  For many of us, we have so many restrictions about who we should go out on a date with that we end up home alone on a Saturday night wondering why we never get a date.

But the “it” girl knows that you need to kiss plenty of frogs to get to the prince.  Now I’m sure Miss “It” isn’t exactly feeling all the guys she dates but the key here is that she is open to them.  Her openness to the world is what makes her so attractive.  In other words, she is not closed-minded and sees the date as a chance to explore her options.  She’s just enjoying her time with a nice man who chose to take her out on a date.

You see, the reality is that we tend to jump past the date.  Before we get to the date, we’re thinking about his shoe size, how much paper he got in his pocket, how tall he is, how many children he got, how many degrees, etc…etc.  And all the guy did was ask us out on a date-not marry us!

So in getting back to my point, if you’ve been single for awhile, I challenge you to say yes to dates for 2017.  I challenge you to go out on dates even with guys who don’t exactly match your criteria for dating.  I know you wanted to find a tall, chocolate brother who looks like your father and the guy who asks you out is a short half black, half Puerto Rican guy, but let’s give him a chance anyway.  Supposed he turns out to be the best thing that’s happened to you.  You never know until you try.

Listen, I’m not here to convince you to change your preferences and criteria for dating.  I’m just here to help challenge you to be more open to the possibilities that are out there.  Every woman I know has her own special type of beauty and I guarantee you that there is a man somewhere who admires it.  And no, he may not be her ideal match, but may be just what she needs to truly be happy.

Why not say yes to love?

P.S….by the way if you take this challenge…let me know what happens!….for safety measures please do meet in a public place…let your family and friends know where you’re going…and have fun!

The Retail Life

I’ll admit working in retail is a lot like a roller coaster ride.  One day is good and you’ve made your sales for the day.  The next day you have an angry customer who believes they own your world because they bought a $25 shirt from your store.  It’s quite hilarious when you think about it.  I mean the people that come into the store on a daily basis range from crazy to plain nuts.  And it can drive you insane if you allow it.

I’ve learned a lot about retail in the very short time that I’ve worked in this industry.  First, the customer is always right, except when you’re tired after a long day and don’t care anymore.  Two, when a staff member leaves, you have to pick up their hours.  This can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on whether you need the extra money or would rather spend the time with your family because you’ve already put in enough hours.  Third, materialism is real and America seriously has a debt problem!  I’ve seen more credit cards decline then I care to see.

Let’s talk about the customer.  Yeah, there are some crazy ones out there, for sure!  You see everyone from the “Miss treat everyone like a low level servant” to “Miss I’d like to try on a thousand outfits and not buy one of them” to “Miss just let me try one more credit card!”  Oh and yes men do the same thing but women are just more notorious for this in my opinion.  But I’ve learned how to practice a little patience and self-restraint when it comes to dealing with these people.  Oh and yes, humor in the stockroom with your staff is not a bad idea either!

Secondly, yeah, turnover in the retail industry is a mofo.  It’s so bad that I don’t think half of these companies do a background check because they need people.  People tend to leave all the time.  I didn’t realize this because I only work retail part time to collect a few extra hours.  But apparently this is a widely accepted thing.  I guess this is okay but you really don’t get a chance to bond with the people you’re working with because they’re on to the next job.  And guess who has to pick up the slack when they leave.  You do!  This is particularly true when you’re a new employee.  I learned this the hard way!

Lastly, America has a serious problem with materialism.  They want everything they see in sight but can’t afford half of it.  If there is a sale for 50% off, they go for it regardless of whether the item is worth it.  Some of those clothes (at least the ones in our store) aren’t worth $10 but because the company has already marked the item up so much and then discounted them down (what they called red-lined), the customers sees the percentage off sign and think they’ve got a steal.  This works great for the retail industry who, by the way, gets these clothes made cheaply in another country, then ships them to America where they price it high and then discount it low to the customer while still retaining a huge profit of what the price in which the item is really worth. 

And debt is no laughing matter.  The amount of credit cards that I’ve seen declined is ridiculous.  I don’t blame the customer though.  You see, living in America we’re all like kids in a candy store.  We can’t help control our urges.  And we as women buy on our emotions making the situation worse.  If we break up with our significant other, we go buy a sweater.  And retail works in close partnership with the marketing industry to ensure they appeal to people’s emotions.  For example, you break up with your boyfriend, a commercial comes on implying you get revenge on your ex by buying a thousand dollar pair of high heels.  Well, when you’re sitting home alone while he or she is out on a date with someone new, guess what you’ll be going to do.   Thus, leaving Americans financially in the hole.  The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.  That’s the American Dream!  Gotta love it, right?

Taking Back Our Power!

So I just recently signed on to work as a “Dear Abby” where I help to answer relationship questions for people by request.  It’s been quite busy these days with the holidays approaching because who doesn’t want love for the holidays.  Well, I really enjoy this job because I like helping people achieve their dreams of having a happy healthy relationship.  Although I’ll admit at times, it can feel like I’m answering the same questions over and over again.  And they’re mainly around women not having any control in their relationships.

Just the other day I was talking to one of my best girlfriends and she mentioned she had a new guy in her life.  She seemed fairly happy with him and that everything seemed to be going okay.  But then she mentioned he lives in another state and that she would go to see him often.  I thought to myself, “Uh Oh!”  I’m sure she noticed the hesitation in my voice so she re-assured me that it was fine because he’s been so busy with all of his work.  I was like….okay?  And you’re not busy with your work? 

I simply made a suggestion that she gets him to come down and see her at least periodically rather than this being so lopsided.  Well, my girlfriend has her pride and as women sometimes we don’t like receiving help when it comes to our love lives.  Still, I tried to push her into not going to see him quite so often but I know this will fall on deaf ears.

I am also a landlord (yes, I have many jobs!) and one of my tenants just got a new “friend” (in her own words).  Once in a while, I check in on her to make sure she’s okay, only to find her “friend” laid up on the couch chilling.  In my mind, I’m thinking isn’t there something he could be doing for you besides eating up all your food.  But I digress.  It’s really none of my business.  So I carry on watching her give her all to him and receiving nothing in return.  She even takes out the trash while he plays video games!!

I’m just so sad to see women give so much to men with little to nothing in return.  It continues to sadden me despite the many years I’ve been doing this thing.  I keep hoping one day women will take their power back and reclaim their rightful place on the throne.

It does make me more appreciative of my own sweetheart for the wonderful things he does for me.  When we first met, I cancelled on him several times before I said yes to him because I was so busy.  And guess what?  He re-arranged his own schedule just to be near me.  I don’t mention this to brag but to explain why it is so important that women carry themselves as Queens.  You see, men don’t value the things they don’t work hard for…which is why we have to keep them on their toes.  Besides, do you want to be the one to get down on one knee?  Case closed…

The more a woman gives her power over to a man, the more he takes it and runs.  It’s not their fault.  They like easy stuff.  The easier the better for them.  The relationship starts out really nice.  Boy meets girl.  Boy asks girl out on a date.  Date goes well and then boy asks her out the next day…”spontaneously”.  Girl says yes then boy asks girl to “come over” the next day….girl then goes and abandons all of her plans for fear of not getting another date…. girl starts complaining boy doesn’t take her out anymore….but boy is fine with this and doesn’t know what her problem is…girl hits breaking point…and breaks up with boy….boy still scratching his head because he thought everything was going well…..the end!

And the cycle continues….

That’s why we ladies need structure…a guidepost for dating….if you haven’t read the Rules, I suggest you pick up a copy today!

Let’s make 2017 the year of great relationships!

Have a safe and happy holiday season!

The Rise Of Chronic Health Related Illnesses

“An ounce of prevention is more than an ounce of cure”

It seems that over the past 10 years, chronic health related illnesses such as cancer, diabetes, heart disease, asthma, and even allergies have had a dramatically sharp increase in the number of people affected.  Almost every day, you hear of someone who has cancer or is diabetic when this was virtually unheard of when I was growing up.  I believe it’s because we’ve come away from the conscious society we once were to a society that embraces ignorant bliss when it comes to maintaining our health.

So what are the reasons for this increase in health related illnesses?  First, more and more, we are embracing a more sedentary lifestyle.  In other words, we are sitting more whereas years ago we were much more active.  The average person sits for at least 4-5 hours a day non-stop without taking the time to stretch their limbs for movement.  The average office worker may sit for more than 8 hours a day depending on their work schedule.  And what’s worse, when they do finally get up which results in much needed movement for their bodies, they go and get something to eat that doesn’t have an else of the recommended daily nutrients the FDA requires to maintain good health.

Let’s move on the second reason people are experiencing more health related illness.  Yes, you guessed it.  They’re not eating healthy.  There’s no way around it!  Eating McDonald’s for breakfast, lunch and dinner is not exactly the healthiest thing you can eat daily for your health.  There is a certain amount of protein, carbs and fats you need in your diet to help fight infection, bacteria and germs that lurks in our environment.  You can’t escape toxins in the atmosphere but your body has a great mechanism to fight it once it knows it is a foreigner.

Finally, people are in what I term “ignorant bliss”.  They either feel helpless or they, quite frankly, just don’t care.  Taking care of their bodies is not enough of a priority until it really is…  Let’s just be honest here.  Maintaining good health is not all that easy.  It means exercising at least 4-5 days a week.  It includes watching what you put in your mouth every day.  And it means prioritizing it among the thousand other responsibilities you have on your life.  Most people just give up and hope for the best until it’s too late to ignore anymore.

People, let’s try to be more proactive!  It doesn’t take a lot of effort in watching your daily diet.  Yes, you may have to plan and put some thought into what you eat but isn’t this worth it?  Isn’t it worth it to see your kids grow up?  Isn’t it worth it to avoid constant doctor visits?  I can only bet that the people lying in hospital beds right now due to health related illnesses would love to have the choices you have now.  As the old saying goes, “an ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure.”  Very true….

Thanks for reading!

Please contact me at info@liveloveaspire.com for more information on my health related coaching services.

Living On Purpose

“Are we living according to the purpose in which we were designed?”

Every now and then I stop and ask myself if what I’m doing is really helping to fulfill my purpose.  So many times I see people go to work for a company they hate, do a job they hate and then go home and complain to their family and friends about the choices they’ve created for themselves.  Eventually, they become stressed out and this starts to show physically in their bodies as well.  I can’t help but to think this is not why we were put here on earth.  You have a divine purpose for being here and being miserable is not one of them!

Well, let’s start with what is your divine purpose.  Some also call this your “calling”.  The thing in which you were called to do.  It is the thing that gets you up in the morning.  It is the thing you get passionate about whenever someone asks you about it.  You light up.  You smile whenever you are doing it.  It’s different for everyone but the level of passion is the same.  I can’t tell you what your purpose is but can tell you that there is a glow that radiates about you whenever you are living it.

Let’s dive a bit deeper!  Usually, I find that a person’s real purpose in life is something they’re already doing.  For example, I believe my divine purpose is to coach or teach people.  I was already doing this with my co-workers while working my previous 9 to 5 corporate job.  Whenever a co-worker had a problem, I was usually one of the first people they would turn to for help and resolution.  I would talk to them as long as possible.  And in turn, I was always the one to seek out a guru or elder to help me with difficult situations in my life.  I found I enjoyed this experience, imparting wisdom from one person to another.  It intrigued me and made me want to pay it forward and help others too.

If you’re still having difficulty finding your purpose.  Think about what you would do even if you did not get paid to do it.  This is usually the first clue to guide you towards your calling.  For example, if you like to talk a lot, you may be great at teaching, coaching, consulting and anything that involves distributing a message to people.  If you’re good with your hands, you may be great at massage therapy or healing arts.  If you love mechanics, you may like dealing with cars or engines.  As you can see, I can go on and on but I think you get the picture.

Take some time to reflect on what you love doing in your spare time.  Continue to ask yourself “what gets you up in the morning or keeps you up at night?”  That may give you a clue.  Sometimes it takes a person years and years to find their purpose but when you do your whole life changes in an instant.

Good luck in your search!

Thanks for reading!

Please contact me at info@liveloveaspire.com for more information on my life/health/wellness related coaching services.

Why Singles Desperately Need To Hang Around Happy Couples

Can blissfully happy couples rub off of you?....let’s see…

If you’ve ever watched happy couples, then you’ll know how infectious it is to be seen.  There is just this blissful joy and belonging that the couple shares that makes us all stop and stare at them.  I believe it’s their love and happiness that we all wish we could have in our lives.  And since my job causes me to be a woman of many hats including professional coach and trainer, I have the luxury of being around lots of people including these blissfully happy couples, and I can tell you that just by virtue of being around them, you feel like you can achieve the same dream of being in this blissful state of happiness.

I laugh when I think of this but I believe everyone needs a “role model couple” to look up to for their own relationship.  This isn’t necessarily about comparisons but it is about being able to determine what constitutes a good relationship and what does not constitute one.  There’s something different about couples that are on the right track or walking together that makes them stand out from the rest and consequently keeps them together forever and ever.  They have a wealth of knowledge from years of experience that other couples and singles just don’t have or have gained in their lives.

For instance, there’s a way these couples interact with each other.  They don’t just text each other – they actually call each other to make sure the other one is okay.  How do you settle disputes?  They allow the other person to voice their opinion and are mindful not to disrespect each other.  It’s the way they hold hands whenever possible to show a quiet type of affection towards each other.  When there are kids involved, they respect each other’s authority and not allow the kids to undermine them.  There is a general sense of trust towards each other and they respect each other’s boundaries accordingly.  These are all great things for singles to learn in trying to find their own respective mates.

In other words, as a single person, you need to know what “good” looks like in a relationship.  When you’re surrounded by other singles, you don’t necessarily learn that except through trial and error.  If you take the time to surround yourself with strong happy couples, then their countless displays of love and affection towards each other will eventually rub off on you.  More often than not, singles only surround themselves with other singles and regurgitate the same information and sometimes keeping them single rather than hearing from happy couples of how they’ve been able to stay together.

But you may say, I don’t know any happy couples!  I’m sure there are a few in your family, your neighborhood, at work, school…etc…etc…that you can observe and watch to learn what constitutes a great relationship.  And by the way, it’s not about imitating their relationship but creating your own great relationship by finding someone who is at least respectful and loving towards you as your foundation.

These happy couples are never really highlighted in our society because most of them live under the spotlight and rightfully so!  They don’t necessarily want or need the spotlight – just a happy home is their dream.  But we as singles can certainly learn a thing or two from them as we create our own little happy homes.  And who knows, maybe someday we can pay it forward by helping another young couple by being great role models to them as well!

Good luck!

Thanks for reading!

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Will Having Bigger Breasts Increase My Chances With Men

Thinking about going under the knife…read this first!

I would venture to say that most of us as women have pondered this question a time or two in our lives, even if just for a second.  You may not like the idea of plastic surgery but having bigger breasts to attract the opposite sex may force you to give it more consideration.  What is it about bigger breasts that make women envious of other women and men turn their heads to gaze at her?  As much as we hate the idea of changing ourselves physically, there is certainly an allure with being able to walk in a crowded room and become the center of attention.

You see, I live and dwell in an industry where the right look could get you a date quickly.  So I can’t say that having bigger breasts doesn’t have some type of influence in a woman’s life.  In fact, I do plenty of shows and competitions where I know for certain that a woman who has bigger breasts will almost always get a slight edge over her peers.  As women, we all know this is secretly true.  We just hope and pray that it isn’t everything when it comes to evaluating the quality of a woman.

Big breasted women are associated with fertility and that makes them very attractive to the opposite sex.  Having firm, upward tilting breasts resembles that of a younger woman vs an older woman who may have sagging, tubular type breasts because of her age.  Think about the classic movie stars such as a young Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, and Lana Turner who graced the movie screen tempting the world with their allure.  t’s interesting too because if you ask any Alpha male why he likes big breasts so much, I’m almost sure he wouldn’t be able to tell you.  You see, he doesn’t know why he likes them…he just knows that he does….

Of course there are drawbacks as with any good thing, right?  Many women with large breasts complain of the pain they feel based on the heaviness of their breasts on their backs.  They also complain their clothes may not fit so well since they are so top heavy as compared to the rest of their bodies.  They end up having to get plastic surgery to have them reduced in size to eliminate such challenges.  Also, when women get breast implants, there is always a chance of leakage from the implant that may cause infection to the rest of her body.  The verdict is still out on how safe these are relative to the risk factor that these may actually be doing the body more harm than good.

But let’s get back to the question of does having bigger breasts enhance our attractiveness?  Well, the answer is both yes and no.  The ideal body shape is that of an hourglass figure so enhancing one’s breast size particularly when your cup size is an A or B may actually help you to achieve the ideal body while also helping you to fit your clothes properly.  This in turn, helps you to have a more pleasing body silhouette creating more of an allure to the opposite sex. 

But there is such a thing as “too much of a good thing”.  Enhancing your breasts a cup size of two is one thing…going up to a double D is quite another.  First, this may be totally unrealistic for your body size and secondly, you may actually get some unwanted attention because of it.  Find the right balance to proportion your body well with regards to bigger breasts is the key.

Now for those of you small chested women who would love to enhance your breasts without plastic surgery, I have good news for you!  You can always pad your bra!  I know you knew that already but there are so many new and improved ways to enhance your chest without having to go under the knife.  You can also proportion your body with clothes to give you the look and feel of someone with bigger breasts as well.  And don’t forget about exercise.  Yes, exercise can actually help your breasts become more firm.  Breast tissue is made up of fat.  So what happens when you exercise?  That’s right…you burn fat!  Those are just a few examples.  You see, you don’t have to have plastic surgery nor be ashamed of your chest to look great and still be able to capture the attention of men. 

In short, women will always desire having bigger breasts, particularly when they see the attention they have on men and in society.  But we as women don’t all have to have the same chest size to attract the opposite sex.  There have been lots of women who have had boy-ish type figures and men loved them too!  So before you decide to go under the knife, think about other alternatives to enhancing your chest size.  And just remember “beauty will almost always attract men, but appearances can only go so far, it is not the hook.

Thanks for reading!

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Please contact us at info@liveloveaspire.com for more information on our services and for a free 15 minute consultation.