Looking For A Great Way To Meet People?…..Try Your Local Gym!

Have you avoided looking for love in the gym….you may want to reconsider!

As a “veteran” member in multiple gyms over the span of my lifetime, I have seen and heard it all.  I have seen people come and go in the gym.  Most of us veterans know that the month of January is when all the new people come in hoping for a solution to their weight loss goals.  And I would say somewhere between the 15^th and the 31^st of January is usually when they realize losing weight is not quite so easy as those infomercials selling fat loss would have you to believe.  But what if those same new members met someone special in their local gym.  I can almost bet you they would not only stay as active members but would also lose their desired weight as well.

In the past, I must admit I was very against meeting someone in the gym until I began fitness consulting services for my own business and started spending more and more of my time there.  While training in the gym, I started meeting lots of nice people and became very acquainted with them.  But what really changed my mind is the community connection you get in local gyms that cannot be replaced online.  People in local gyms all seem to root for the same teams, share the same community struggles and most importantly, get to know one another far better than dating some unknown person online.  This seems to be a much better way to meet someone since the person you meet in your local gym will more than likely live near you.  What more could you ask for in convenience!

There’s also more singles in the gym!  Most of the married people that I know, particularly the ones with kids, do not have the time to spend in the gym and will generally purchase at home gym equipment to maximize their time with their family.  On the other hand, singles have more time to dedicate to the gym and may spend countless hours there.  This is really good news if you’re single because it gives you a plethora of options to choose from in a mate.  And don’t forget most of the singles there tend to be in healthy shape too!  A huge plus in my book! 

In general, meeting your mate in the gym has many other benefits including having a “work out buddy” to cheer you on and encourage you through the roller coaster ride of losing weight.  From what I’ve seen in many gym newcomers, the ones who have partners or friends to work out with, maintain their goals far better than those who work out alone.  Besides, having your own “spotter” doesn’t hurt either!

So how does this process work you say?  Well, first you need to really work out!  Seriously!  Most of us veterans can spot the newbies very quickly because 1) they’re too scared to lift weights and 2) they look confused on the machines!  It’s quite alright though because most of us were new to the gym at one point in time and will appreciate your effort in being there.  However, to gain someone’s interest, you’ll need to look the part.  Please allow me to explain further.

If you look like you’re only going to the gym to meet your husband or wife, you’ll be identified immediately!  As I said before, most of the active members know the ones who are there to really work out and those who are there to put on a show.  The members who are truly there to work out are actually working out and don’t have hours to chat as if they’re in a club.  Your best bet is to have a purpose for being there and stick to it.

So to get you started on your fitness “love” journey, I have listed a few tips to help you!

1.       Dress The Part – If you’ve been out of the gym since the late 80’s then you’re probably in need of a wardrobe update.  And of course, if you’re just out of college where wearing a dirty t-shirt and sweatpants were the norm, think again!  Remember, first impressions count, especially when you’re single.  If you want to truly impress that special someone, spend a little extra money on quality work out attire.  It doesn’t have to be glamorous nor necessarily “En Vogue”, but it should fit you well and have a sense of your own taste and style attached to it.

2.       Establish Your Weight Loss Goals – Have a goal that you want to accomplish in the gym.  Most gym-goers have specific goals they want to hit including losing weight for that special date, school reunions, looking good in that bikini, etc.  Establishing a goal upfront will give you more purpose and will let others know you are not just there to flirt but also to improve yourself as well. 

3.       Hire a trainer to help you work out – If you’re new to the gym, hiring a trainer is a great to help you get started.  They’ll show you various equipment and fitness techniques you can use to hit your goals.  While you’re working out with the trainer, this can be a great way to get to know others in the gym with similar goals as well.

4.       Engage In Fun Group Co-ed Activities – If you’re going to be consistent in the gym, you’ll need a few incentives and having fun is one of them.  The more fun you have with your work out, the more you’ll stick to the plan.  Local gyms have made enormous strides in ensuring their members have access to the best group fitness instructors and the best group training programs to help their members lose weight.  From group cycling to group yoga, the group classes range from low intensity to high intensity based on your level of fitness.  And more importantly, you’re having fun with others and that is enough to make anyone fall in love!

5.       Be Friendly And Welcoming To Everyone – The best way to meet people is by being open and friendly to them.  Now some people in the gym take their workouts much too seriously but maybe you can be the one to help them lighten up!  These tend to be your neighbors and community leaders all in one place.  What better way to meet them than in your local gym.  Besides, you never know which one of them could be your soulmate!

 In short, there are no shortage of singles in the gym.  If you’ve tried online dating or dating in bars and clubs, this may be your next best option.  It’s safe, convenient and can be a positive experience for you.  There are many benefits to meeting your mate in the gym including sharing the same values/goals and a sense of a community connection as well.  Now I’m certainly not saying it’s a guarantee that you’ll meet “the one” there but it’s certainly worth a try!  So the next time you pass the gym on your way home, stop in and look around.  Your special guy or girl just may be there.

Thanks for reading!

For more helpful dating tips, please check out my blog at www.liveloveaspire.blogspot.com or you may inquire about my life/relationship coaching/fitness consulting services at www.liveloveaspire.com. 

Connect with us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/liveloveaspiredatecoach

What’s New?  We have meet up groups for both men and women for those living in the Baltimore-DC area.

We also offer personal training services as well!  Please contact me at info@liveloveaspire.com!

Top 5 Dating Trends We See For 2015

Is the “hook up” culture losing its steam?....find out what the stars say will be trending for 2015…

As a Relationship Coach, I get a front seat to all of the trends happening in dating and relationships.  And for years past, singles have been on the roller coaster ride of trying to navigate the tricky waters of dating.  From the explosion of online dating to the trend of casually “hooking up”, dating has become more confusing than in any time in history.  However, I do have good news for you.  Dating is about to get some help.  So let’s see what the stars have in store for us.

To make predictions, I use Western Astrology which helps me to see any major trends on the horizon.  For example, for the past several years, technology has had a powerful impact on dating and relationships in general.  The planet Neptune, known for illusions and idealism, was in the cool sign of Aquarius.  This planetary aspect has helped to open many doors for us in bringing people together through technology such as Facebook and Skype which to some would’ve seemed unreal years ago.  Yet, even with such great technology, it has yet to replace the chemistry two people have when they are face to face with each other.   

As we fast forward to 2015, the planet Neptune has since moved into the compassionate sign of Pisces so we’re seeing more people become more compassionate and understanding to one another.  This translates to singles becoming more sensitive and understanding to the flaws and weaknesses of a potential mate.  With Neptune in Aquarius, singles were more concerned with a person’s online profile whereas Neptune in Pisces teaches singles to be much more sensitive to the actual person.  But, if we’re not careful, the dark side of Neptune in Pisces can represent self-delusion, manipulation and extreme idealism too!

With that being said, we’re entering into a new and different phase for relationships.  Saturn is now transiting the sign of Sagittarius.  If you read some Astrology blogs, you’ll see that Saturn has been erroneously known for its harsh dictatorship when it’s only here to help us reach our greatest potential by giving us the challenge we need to move to the next level in our lives.  With Saturn in the sign of Sagittarius, we may be thinking more about the meaning of life and how we relate to the world.  We’ll be exploring religion and philosophy more to connect to our own spirituality.  As someone who is single, you may want to date someone more socially conscious or who shares your own personal philosophy on life.

Then there’s the planet Jupiter, known for its benevolence and expansion, which will be in the sign of Leo for half of the year.  It has been in Leo since July 2014 and stays in the sign for at least a year.  Jupiter in Leo is all about letting your own light shine in the world.  But with the planet transiting Virgo in August 2015, we’ll be much more concerned with our work in the community.  Singles may begin searching for other singles with the same mission they have of improving the community through service oriented activities.

So what does all this have to do with me?  Well, if you’re single, you should care about how other singles are feeling as a whole because it influences your love life.  To simplify this a little, I’ve compiled a list for you of the top 5 dating trends I see happening for 2015 and in some cases, beyond this time.

1.       The “Hook Up” Culture Is Losing Steam – Say what?  Yes, you heard correctly!  Well, the “hook up” generation is growing older so they’re realizing that this isn’t exactly going to help them long term, especially if they want to have a family.  I coach many twenty something year olds and they seem tired and wounded from “hooking up”.  They’re ready to settle down.  Thus this type of dating is losing steam fast.  But if you’re enjoying this type of thing…don’t worry…it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. 

Additionally, many of the twenty something’s are experiencing (or about to experience) their Saturn Return.  Saturn returns to its original position in an individual’s birth chart about every 29 years.  So this applies to many singles in their latter twenties and will be a wakeup call for them to begin moving towards a more fruitful life or be compelled to deal with the consequences.

2.       Dating Apps/Online Dating Gets A Reality Check – As more and more singles are becoming increasingly aware of the perils and challenges of dating online, they have discarded it altogether.  At first, this may have seemed like the cool thing to do but most are now wondering if it’s even worth the investment of time and resources. 

Further, the disciplinarian planet, Saturn, is in a challenging aspect to the compassionate, yet sometimes delusional planet of Neptune forcing singles to experience their first reality check that online dating may not be the best way to find love.  Or perhaps singles will begin to balance online dating with offline dating and begin creating a healthier mix of places to meet singles.

3.       More Socially Conscious Singles – On a grand scale, we’re starting to see people becoming more socially active and aware of what’s happening in their communities and on the planet in general.  Young, single twenty something year olds are leading the way for all of us.  This trend has already began with all the social uprisings happening whether they’re enlightening us on the causes of police brutality, racism, sexism, economic inequality, etc. 

What’s helping these social uprisings and singles becoming more socially conscious is the mix of Saturn in Sagittarius (social justice) and Neptune in Pisces (compassion, ideals).  Then with the planet Jupiter going into the service oriented sign of Virgo, the theme for 2015 will really be about working towards helping mankind.  What’s awesome about this is that singles will have opportunities to meet like-minded singles in a healthier way rather just dating online or in a bar or a club.  We’re all excited about this trend!

4.       Fitness/Health/Wellness Will Be A Priority – Health and fitness have always been priorities for singles but I believe it will have much more of an impact for 2015 through 2016.  Singles will find more creative and revolutionary ways to stay in shape other than just going to the gym.  You’re also going to notice singles start taking better care of their health than years ago.  With the national healthcare plan in effect, this may aid singles in taking a more proactive look at their health. 

 

But staying fit and healthy doesn’t just mean staying in shape, it also means getting rid of toxic relationships too.  It has been statistically proven that those in toxic relationships experience more chronic illnesses than those who are not in toxic relationships.  So there may be a long, overdue cleansing of the soul from relationships that are not in our best interests.

 

And lest I forget the forces behind such a powerful influence.  This trend is influenced by Jupiter in Virgo, a sign also known for health/purity and cleaning out the toxins of our soul.  With Jupiter in Leo for part of the year, we may be expanding in areas beyond our capacity so we need Jupiter in Virgo to bring us back down to earth.  She will help us to purify our souls and alleviate the toxins we put in it so we can be healed and renewed.

 

5.       Marriage Is Making A Slow Comeback – That’s right!  I said it!  But where did it go?  Well, actually, marriage hasn’t gone anywhere but I wanted to quiet the cynics who continuously report statistics on how the marriage rate is declining.  And even I’ll admit, the marriage ratio seems to have stalled.  But it will start trending upwards again-eventually!  I believe we’ve gone through our worst years for marriage and now I think we’re tying up those loose ends in 2015.  With the hook up culture losing steam (see dating trend #1), that can only mean people will start “tying the knot” again-thankfully!

But before you get too excited about this trend, just note that marriage won’t be the same as it was when our parents got married.  I believe we’ve learned a lot in the past several years and that information will be implemented into how singles date and eventually get married.  I believe singles will start to look deeper into their partnerships to ensure they are compatible and the right fit for them.  This is something our parent’s did not do before they got married.  Singles these days will have a more well-rounded view of marriage and partnership and this will help them not only get married but stay there.

However, this is a long term prediction and well beyond 2015.  The other planets I did not mention which have a huge influence on relationships were Uranus and Pluto.  Uranus, the planet of revolution and invention, in the sign of Aries and the planet Pluto, known for power and transformation in the sign of Capricorn are in challenging positions with each other!  In relationships, these two planetary influences have challenged our need to be individuals, yet respect the institution of marriage.  When there is any type of aspect to the sign of Libra, known for relationships, this challenge becomes even greater.  These two planets, Uranus and Pluto, will make their last dance within the year and help us to finally resolve whatever matters of the heart has come up for us in the past few years.

In summary, we’re excited about the New Year!  There will be so many positive trends in dating making relationships easier to bear.  What we’ve learned over the past years will help us to relate to each other much better and make communication far easier than it has ever been in history.  With such powerful planets helping us to move to a more compassionate society, our relationships will start to improve tremendously.  That’s good news for us singles trying to find our way through the wonderful maze of dating. 

Thanks for reading!

For more helpful dating tips, please check out my blog at www.liveloveaspire.blogspot.com or you may inquire about my dating/relationship coaching/consulting services at www.liveloveaspire.com.

What’s New?  We have meet up groups for both men and women for those living in the Baltimore-DC area.

We also offer personal training services as well!  Please contact me at info@liveloveaspire.com!

Does your ‘love handles’ affect who you date?

Your weight maybe directly proportional to the type of singles you meet!

Studies show that more than 60% of people put on weight when they’re in a relationship.  This comes as no surprise to those who have enjoyed the comforts of a relationship including the quality time spent indoors cooking delicious meals and cuddling up with the one you love.  But what happens when that relationship hits a “dead end” and you have to go back out into the dating world.  Most newly identified singles find that those “love handles” that once were thought to be cute and adorable by your spouse are surprised to find out they are a hindrance when competing against other successfully fit singles.

Listen, if you don’t believe me, ask those singles who have been struggling to take weight off that they accumulated in their previous relationship.  Having been out in the dating market, they know the challenges of trying to stay positive even when they know their weight is an issue.  It’s really very subtle too!  The best example of this is when you meet someone in person that you met online and you notice their disappointment in seeing that you carry a little more weight than they originally thought in your online profile.  Or maybe you haven’t seen someone in a long time only to discover they have packed on the weight since you last saw them.   In either case, the rejection can be brutal.

Now although most of us find this to be extremely superficial.  I mean…what about the value of the person on the inside?  Oh yeah…if only the world were like this!  We’re all superficial in our own little ways.  After all, we’re only human!  I would like to think the world we live in only judges us based on who we are on the inside and overlooks what we have physically on the outside but I would be lying.  As human beings, we see the outside of people first, then go with what’s on the inside. 

To make my case even further, let’s go a bit deeper into the truth.  Most people aren’t really wondering how much weight you’ve gained, necessarily.  In fact, physically, most people are happy dating someone of average weight in proportion to their height and size.  Gaining a few extra pounds is hardly going to be a deal breaker but gaining a lot of pounds is.  And there’s the real issue.  You see, most singles are really looking for how you take care of yourself and that includes your health.  Although most people will sympathize with someone obese or overweight, they may not want to date them either.

But let’s look at the bright side!  Losing weight and getting fit is wonderful for your health.  Keeping yourself in shape increases your metabolism and energy levels so you can live an active life.  Besides, who wants to date someone who barely has enough energy to sustain a conversation!  Losing excess weight may be the best decision you can make to not only feel better about yourself but attract the person of your dreams too!

So does your “love handles” affect who you date?  As I’ve mentioned, having a few extra curves probably won’t be the thing that gets you the “boot” from a potential suitor.  But most people who are overweight didn’t think that gaining a few extra pounds would make a difference either until one day they woke up and realized they weren’t getting the dates or meeting the type of singles they wanted to meet anymore.  And that was their wake up call.   

Thanks for reading!

For more helpful dating tips, please check out my blog at www.liveloveaspire.blogspot.com or you may inquire about my dating/relationship coaching services at www.liveloveaspire.com.

What’s New?  We now offer personal training services as well!  If you live in the Baltimore-DC area, please give us a call!

Workshop Series: Dream Girl's Cooking Class 101

Hey Ladies,

By popular demand, we're gearing up to host our very own cooking class right in time for Valentine's Day!  We're planning to have our very own private cooking lessons from a local private chef, Chef Nichole Adriane, known for her cooking skills and expertise in the kitchen.  She'll be teaching us how to cook meals that don't require a culinary arts degree nor that costs a fortune to make.
So ladies please bring your curiosity and your taste buds, you're sure to find something special that you can cook for your man.

Here's her website:
www.TheUrbanChicChef.com

Workshop Series: The Psychology of Dating, Why We Date The Way We Do

We are hosting a workshop called “The Psychology of Dating: Why We Date The Way We Do” on January 3 at 2pm in Hanover, MD. In this workshop, we’ll be covering a variety of subjects for singles including topics such as why you may be drawn to dating the “bad guy” even when you know that person is not good for you or maybe you seem to be more attracted to the “model type” but those relationships haven’t resulted in any long term success for you. Maybe you seem to sabotage every great relationship you’re in when you get closer to someone. We’ll even cover why online dating works for some people while others seem to be on a continuous hamster wheel finding no real long term results. Through my years of experience as a dating coach and professional matchmaker and my observations of hundreds of singles, I’ll teach you my tips and strategies to understand and conquer the dating journey once and for all.

 

Please don’t miss this great event. We’ll try to unlock the secret codes of dating so you can move to a new level in your love life!

 

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-psychology-of-dating-why-we-date-the-way-we-do-tickets-14684948075

Career Girls, The Real Reason You Should Learn How To Cook!

Sure men can cook these days…but they still appreciate a woman who can cook too!

I’ll admit that I’m a complete geek when it comes to the Food Network, the Cooking Channel, and hundreds of cook books!  While everyone else is watching “Scandal”, I’m watching “Chopped!”  My cooking curiosity dates back to my younger days of waking up on Thanksgiving mornings to soothing aromas in the kitchen while watching the Macy’s Day parade and then seeing the joy and laughter in the evening when everyone has stuffed themselves like a turkey when it’s cooked!

I think my generation really misses those days.  I talk to lots of my peers who also reminisce over those times.  I guess in our normal hustle and bustle of trying to earn a living and having “me” time, we forgot about our families or having “we” time.  Even what was considered a fun family activity after Thanksgiving, “Black Friday”, has resulted in more people being stressed out over trying to buy the next big thing.  It’s no wonder the one thing that was sacred, cooking Thanksgiving dinner, has all but been delegated to the menu of the chefs at your favorite local restaurant.

It’s interesting too because I’ve noticed more men have begun to master the art of cooking which was traditionally a female dominated world.  Not only have men mastered the art of cooking but now dominate many of the world’s finest restaurants.  On the other hand, women have begun to step out of that role and into more male dominated fields once led by men.

But even with men having just as many skills as women in the kitchen, I believe they still appreciate a woman who knows her way around the kitchen too.  To prove my theory, I asked my sweetie indirectly how he felt about us buying a whole Thanksgiving dinner rather than cooking it.  To which he responded, “The whole dinner?” as he sighed silently.  If you ask most men if they would rather date a woman who can cook than one who can’t cook, they would probably not even choose to answer the question for fear of being ridiculed by those of us women who believe that because we live in modern times, men shouldn’t relegate us to such menial tasks.  But secretly they wink (if only in their heads!). 

And by the way, I’m certainly not saying a woman is required to cook to gain a man’s attention or affection.  I’m just saying it’s just a nice little thing to do to show him that you care.  You see, most men remember growing up to seeing their mothers and grandmothers sweating over a hot stove just to make something wonderful and special for their family.  You bring them nostalgia about the “good old days” and help them to feel at peace even when they have the weight of the world on their shoulders.  They think of you as the one person who can make them feel good at home while they prepare to go out in the world to protect their family.

So ladies, I know you’ve climbed the highest mountain in your career, swam the deepest seas but ask yourself what it would cost you to put a little extra love in the kitchen?  It doesn’t have to be a big meal and you don’t have to be “Betty Crocker” nor “Chef Boyardee”.  All you need is a little bit of TLC (tender loving care).  As long as it’s made with the finest ingredients of love, he’ll thank you for it. 

Thanks for reading!

For more helpful dating tips, please check out my blog at www.liveloveaspire.blogspot.com or you may inquire about my dating/relationship coaching services at www.liveloveaspire.com.

The Non-Flirting Flirty Way To Flirt

 

Flirting not your thing…try this to get his attention!

I’ll admit I’m a hopeless romantic but I’ve never thought flirting was one of my core strengths.  I have girlfriends that could attract the opposite sex like bees to honey.  Just give them a minute and a good looking guy and they’re off and running.  I laugh because I don’t even think it takes that long!  I used to dread going out with them because I knew if I spotted a guy I liked they would take him first!

The art of flirting is such a lost art.  I think it’s because most of us fear rejection.  If we take the time to flirt with someone and they reject us, it hurts our pride and ego.  We feel unwanted and unloved.  Eventually we resolve to never do it again or at least not until the other person likes us first.  It’s our way of preventing the pain of feeling rejected.

Most people think flirting is looking at a person until they succumb to your creepy stare.  But that will drive the person away faster than anything.  Other people think that flirting is about the flip of your hair and while this is flirty, it’s not the end all!  There are other ways to get his attention without even trying. 

Flirting can be so much fun even when it isn’t one of your strengths.  I’ve listed some of my favorite old school ways to flirt that are less obvious and won’t cost you anything other than your time and patience with the process.

1.       Clothes and accessories – Most people don’t realize that your clothes speak before you do!  Your clothes say a lot about you when you enter the room.  When you feel good, you dress the part.  When you don’t feel good, you don’t dress the part hoping no one will notice you.  Clothes are like our secret silent language making it a great way to flirt with that special someone without saying a word to them.  I recommend soft colors that signal romance and fitted clothing that allows him to admire your curves.  If clothes are the first thing he sees from you, why not make a great first impression!

2.       Tone of voice – Voice is the most underrated way of flirting.  Have you ever heard a woman who has either a high pitched child-like voice or a woman with a super sulky voice that screams of seduction?  There is something about their voice that drives men wild.  Unless you are a professional speaker, singer or other professional who uses their voice a lot, you are probably not giving your voice the tender loving care that it needs.  But this is such a simple and cost-free way to flirt with the man of your dreams.  It’s certainly worth it to train your voice to speak in a super sexy tone!

3.       Friendliness – This is another underrated way to flirt.  Think about all the guys who were friendly and open to you when you may have been a bit lost or shy.  The friendlier they were to you, the more you thought about it and felt good after meeting them.  This has a huge magnifying effect on men who envision their future wife being an open and friendly person not just to him but also to others around him as well.  You will be someone they can’t wait to take home to momma!

4.       Displaying your kindness and generosity – I meet so many men who seem to be magnetized by kind and generous women.  Men think if a woman is kind and generous to them, she’ll also be kind and generous to their family as well.  And this doesn’t mean she’s a doormat but that she has a kind heart and is kind and generous to everyone she meets which is incredibly sexy to men.

5.       Being Miss Congeniality – I’m reminded of this flirty technique with my sweetheart who loves women who epitomize “Miss Congeniality”.  He says there is nothing sexier and flirty than a woman who loves life.  I agree with him.  I love to be around people who are full of life.  They attract all types of people.  And don’t worry if you’re not the “Miss Congeniality” type.  As long as you are loving and living life to the fullest extent, men will be at your feet in no time.

 

Hopefully, I’ve helped those of you who don’t claim to be super flirty but would like to still be able to attract men.  Don’t get me wrong, eye contact is still probably the number one way to flirt but my purpose in writing this article is for those of you who may be a little shy with using such techniques as they are more obvious to the person to whom you are flirting.  From your clothes, tone of voice, friendliness, kindness and generosity, to being “Miss Congeniality”, these are fun and much more natural ways to get his attention.  And if you don’t get his attention, there’s probably a few others whose attention you did get from using such techniques.

Good Luck!

Thanks for reading!

For more helpful dating tips, please check out my blog at www.liveloveaspire.blogspot.com or you may inquire about my dating/relationship coaching services at www.liveloveaspire.com.